ha. I got 100% on my enzyme lab for class...



You are an enzyme. You are powerful, dark,
variable, and can change many things at your
whim...even when they're not supposed to be
changed. Bad you. You can be dangerous or
wonderful; it's your choice.

Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by

You are a neurotransmitter. You believe in the
good-naturedness of man's biology and soul.
You're happy, everyone's happy, and no one will
ever take that away from you. Or else you'll
make them go insane.


Which Biological Molecule Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

-Amber

the gates project:

Hi, everyone! It's raining out! It's beautifully wet. It's Friday. I am so very happy.

And I actually have a reason!

But here, first let me say that this tale will be boring to those (ie becca) who have heard the saga from start to finish, and so those (ie becca) who see this had better not read the next entry with expectations of being entertained.

On Wednesday, at the end of my British Lit class I went up to my instructor (Schaak) and asked him something. We ended up talking about the English major that I'm planning to take as soon as the program is implemented next year (Fall 2006.) I had talked with him about this before and he had said that as long as I take lots of English classes before the program is actually implemented, I'll be fine to graduate in four years with my two degrees - Bible and English.

Well, he had just found out the day before that those in charge had decided to delay the implementation one year, so it would be Fall 2007 by the time the program was actually put in. This threw a wrench in my plans. Basically, the only way I could still do it was to take lots of summer classes and fill my semesters up all the way, and barely graduate with my two degrees.

Or, I could just stay an extra year or two and have fun.

I'm going for the latter.

So, here's what's going to happen. Never again will I feel pressured to take the maximum amount of credits allowed - the last three weeks have been just really hard. I mean, it's not a matter of holding down the fort - I'm keeping up on homework and assignments, if barely - but I'm not enjoying my fun classes!

After deciding to take it easy for the next six years and see what happens school-wise and see if God illuminates any other interesting way, I thought about this semester. Why am I taking 18 credits? Because I thought I had to in order to stay on track with both my majors. But now that I'm resigned to being here for maybe even six years, I don't have to take 18 credits! It's too late to drop a class without getting a "W" on my transcript, but I don't care! And guess what I did today!

I dropped my Gospels class, the one that's taught by that guy that gives completely unpredictable quizzes that are never on what he says they will be on! The 8 am four days a week class! The boring class that I read novels through! The one I think I could be actually learning things in, and I'm not!

I dropped it!

I'm at FOURTEEN CREDITS!

My homework load isn't actually going to be that different because thus far I wasn't spending too much time on homework in that class. I could see it would get a lot harder though, and now I'm avoiding that! I'll get more sleep though, that's for sure.

-Amber

Last week, a girl I met asked me to come to a campus crusade bible study at school. I happened to have time in-between* classes, so I went today.

I walked into the classroom. Someone said, "hi," and asked who I was. After our short conversation, I sat down by a girl with frizzy blonde hair who was wearing a very warm looking sweatshirt. She was nice enough. She introduced me to a few other people who chanced to walk by, and then the dialogue seemed to die after a few more exchanged questions - what courses we were taking, how long had we been attending the school, blehblehbleh, etc.

I don't usually form expectations about new things. I supose now I can expect how it will be at the next meeting, because I've already been there. I should expect it to run in a similar way.
Just because this was a "bible study" doesn't mean that it would be anything like the other ones I've been a part of, save the fact that we'd be studying the bible.
SO, I didn't really come up with any expectations as far as what it was going to be like.
I thought, "oh, sure, it'll be nice to meet the other Christians on campus, and maybe this will even get me to read my bible and challenge me to grow more!" I was a little excited when I looked at it from that point.

But, somehow, as I was sitting there, and even after I left - as I was walking to my next class - I had a feeling of unsatisfaction.

Pourquoi? (But why?)

They were nice people, and though they were mostly just rambling off their inside jokes, I didn't ever think of "fitting in" with the group right away anyway, so that wasn't what bothered me. The guy who spoke had a good message. It was thought provoking and everything was backed up by a biblical passage. The songs for worship were new to me, but I enjoyed them, and that part isn't about me anyway. Really, I suppose none of it is.

But, I found that I had expected them to be more mature. I guess it's just young college kids, but I couldn't believe the number of people whispering and laughing during the message.

Another thing that I noticed is that they were so excited that someone "new" had come, but then, they didn't put much effort into making me want to become part of the group.

ah.

I'll give it a few more meetings.


I learned about harnessing bubbles to set off nuclear fusion! It's referred to as "sonofusion" or "bubble fusion." Amazing stuff. Along with the weird fact I learned about the burrowing owl.

Where did it all come from!? While I was in the library at school, I picked up "NewScientist" and I think I read just about every article in it. I didn't even realize how long it had been until I turned the page and saw the front cover again. ha. I couldn't put it down! It was ALL so interesting.

I'm done now!
-becca

1.) "hey, look at my knee move!"

I'm still a student! I can go see them for 1/3 the cost of an adult ticket! ha!

About a week ago, a neat looking flyer caught my eye while I was waiting in the music department at school before voice class. It was for the Seattle Baroque Orchestra. The group isn't that big, and they don't play very many concerts - at least not this year. But, they seem so COOL!
GO TO THE WEBSITE! It's great. It has lots of educational information about the baroque period and how different instruments have changed since and stuff.

I hope I can go see them...eventually!


2.) Bonsoir! Je n'aime pas recherche mes stylos. Pourquoi? Je suis paresseux.


What a dumb thing to say...in any language!

That's probably the most complex sentence I can put together on a whim though.

-becca

Hm, this page took forever to load. I bet it won't post and everything I type will be lost forever. Oh well, probably not much loss there, because I do tend to ramble.

I would actually like to say a bit about why I do ramble about things no one really cares about - it's for a log of my own thoughts so I can look back later and say, "Oh, that was then." It's also a great store for fond memories. And bad memories. It's a log of my thoughts - a weblog, hence the name blog. This happens to be contributions of both becca and me, so it's unique in that aspect (I just got out of Bible Study Methods and my lab instructor has a fine English vocabulary so I tend to start talking/typing like him after class) but that's really why I sometimes just start typing and don't stop for half an hour.

So, yesterday was an awful day, however chocolate filled it was. I'm in this class, Bible Study Methods, reputed to be the hardest class ever, and it is. It's a wonderful class and I'm enjoying it but it's just a wee bit discouraging to spend six hours on a 6 page paper and get an 83 for it. Anyway, everyone has the same struggles with it so it's not quite as discouraging as it would be if I were the only one, and all the upperclassmen insist it will get easier. It's basically a class on how to study the Bible and how not to study it - turns out Christians tend to study it completely in the wrong way.

So, yesterday I got my big long six pager back in the mail. I saw my grade which I was only slightly disappointed in - I knew other people got less than that and this truly is reputed to be a difficult class - and I saw a note by the side which said, "Talk to me immediately next class period or I will have to give you a zero." And that was it.

Now, I'm pretty sensitive about my grades, and I'm pretty sensitive to anyone being upset with me about anything. He didn't say what the problem was, only that the next night (the class is 6:30-8:30 Tuesdays) I had to go talk to him.

So I tried to brush it off. That worked for about ten minutes, in which I went to lunch, found I couldn't eat anything, and showed the papers to Jessica who was in the cafeteria. I then completely burst into tears and tried to regain myself for about five minutes, then I ran to the bathroom and cried for about fifteen minutes to the point of being sick, then I ran back to the room and cried until I couldn't put off my Spanish homework any longer. It was pretty pathetic. The whole time, I was trying to call my lab instructor to talk to him about this note because I knew there was no way I could sleep knowing this...I mean, I had spent some serious time and thought on this paper and here I was about to lose it! And this man who I had so much respect for now thinks I'm...I don't know. I thought maybe he thought it was plagarized or something. That was all I could come up with.

Every time I dialed his number, I would hesitate on the last digit and then burst into tears and hang up because I wanted to be composed when I talked to him.

Finally I was composed enough to call him. And here was the situation he laid out:
The syllabus says, "Students are allowed (even encouraged) to work together on assignments, provided that 1) it is 50-50 work on each assignment turned in, 2) the work is done only with classmates who share the same lab section, and 3) all work turned in for credit clearly identifies all the parties involved." Michelle and I spent six hours on this mentioned-to-death paper. We split the work very evenly. she is in my lab section. The work turned in for credit clearly identified all parties involved.

Unfortunately, my lab instructor said the syllabus did not mean that we could both work on the same paper - it meant that we could help each other write separate papers. I did not read that at all, and I told him so, and he said he would talk to the instructor (he's just a lab leader) and we'd discuss it the next day. I do hate the term "discuss." It's too much like a counseling term. Is there a problem? Let's "discuss" it. Is there not a problem? Let's "discuss" why you think there isn't a problem.

So, tonight (I'm so happy now!) he mentioned that "some of you got an unexpected note at the end of your papers" and explained what had happened to those who hadn't gotten a note. He then went on to say he'd had a discussion with the instructor last night about what the syllabus meant when it said that and it turned out WE WERE RIGHT! So, we all got credit, and we can work together in future assignments, and everything's great, and my lab leader apologized and he was very humble about it (he must have felt pretty stupid, it must have been hard for him to just go and say he was wrong like that) and now of course I feel like I could never be sad again. Ever. Haha.

Then I floated into the cafe, found Jessica who was cleaning the Student Commons because that's her job, and told her my great news. She wanted a poptart so I got her one even though she has more flex credit than me. Bought one of two left of the flavor she wanted. Also bought a snicker's bar and ate it in the time it took me to get from the SC to the dorm.

I'm reading "The Sacred Diary of Adrian Plass (aged 37 3/4)". I think it is terribly, terribly funny and I've stopped reading it during boring instructor's tangents because I tend to laugh. It is a very short book, a great pick up and put down book. It's so funny, so, so, so funny. Just make sure you have the characters straight from the beginning. I had to reread part of it because I was confused. Read it!

I'm also rereading the Father Brown mysteries. A few years ago I read one of the books and I loved it, and as a reward for finishing all my Spanish by living at the library yesterday I checked it out and it was the complete thing, all five (or four, I can't remember) books. I don't remember much about the stories except that one was about a severed head and the whole turning point of the mystery was when they discovered that there was really a second severed head in the wicker basket. Or something. Father Brown is a priest who solves the mysteries, and it's really very interesting. I mean, it's a very unexpected type of book. You don't usually see things with graphic happenings (not graphic descriptions - it's not the type of book that's written to make you feel a certain way, such as nauseous) in the same book as a kind of vaguely religious novel. I say kind of vaguely because, while I know the man is a priest, I don't remember how religious the thing was overall, except that his character showed by everything he did. Now, instead of talking about what I don't remember about the book, how about if I read it and THEN tell you how great it is?

-Amber

Exuber the Ant

Exuber was a small ant,
but not if you don't compare
the size of his abdomen
to that of a fresh eclair.

Exuber lived in St. Louis
with mom and uncle chee
in a crack on a sidewalk
resided their colony

Every day they dug tunnels
Every night they ate their peas
Then they would play some checkers
and drink a few cups of tea

Exuber liked to go out
and run through the blades of grass
His mom said it was, "alright,"
If he stayed close, but alas -

The moment he was out there,
He could do things others can't,
in the wild foliage
He became ExuberAnt!

ExuberAnt was fearless
ExuberAnt was strong
If predators were lurking
they wouldn't be lurking long!

ExuberAnt, chest held high,
walked about in undefeat
What's this? Perspiration?
He could take a rise in heat

He started to feel dizzy
His powers began to fade
He creeped around aimlessly
wanting nothing more than shade

A human boy was smiling
magnifying glass in hand
a red cap sat on his head
and he chewed a rubber band

The next day the boy was found
with something beige in his throat
And who did his parents blame?
the man who made rootbeer float.

The end.


-becca

who needs meter? =P

This has to be the weirdest morning ever.

My roommate, Jessica, cannot be bribed to wake up before noon on a Saturday. She's one of those extreme non-morning people. I am a morning person. So far, though, it works out fine - there's just rarely a day when I wake up that she's not fast asleep.

So, last night she went out to play Ultimate Frisbee. I was going to finish my study questions for my 8 am class but I was too tired so I set my alarm for 4 am and went to bed at 11. At 11:45, I was asleep when her cell phone rang. I woke up and turned on the light and sat there wondering what the sound had been. Then I found her purse and dug her cell phone out of it, and sure enough she had missed a call. Then I did something to her cell phone. I don't remember what. I just put it in a specific place or something. And I went back to bed.

I don't remember when Jessica came in, but apparently it was "around 12 or 1" and she stayed up till 2 for no particular reason. I stayed asleep through it all.

My alarm went off at 4. In my particular groggy state, for some reason I turned down the volume all the way instead of turning off the alarm, and I laid back down. I'm pretty sure I did it all in my sleep. But, as God tends to do when I do something stupid like that, he woke me back up and told me I was two minutes past my alarm. Automatically, I sat up and turned off the alarm even though it wasn't making any noise. Then I got up and took my stuff to the lounge, had two cups of tea, and finished my study questions at 5:45 am. I thought I might go back to the room and get my Spanish studying materials but I didn't want to wake Jessica up by turning on the light so I decided to just set my alarm for 6:30 and go back to bed.

As soon as I opened the door to our room, I heard her move and I mentally kicked myself for not being quieter, though I obviously couldn't help it. Then I heard her say "Hola!" I said "Hey." She said, "Want to know something weird that just happened?" I said, "Sure." and fell into bed. She proceeded to tell me about how her dad had accidently called her cell phone just then by rolling over on the call button in his sleep.

Then she told me about a dream she'd had in which I woke her up in the middle of the night because I wanted her to proofread my biography. That was horribly funny to me because I'd had a similar dream a week ago in which she woke me up in the middle of the night in order to ask me theological questions.

Every time one of us said "okay, back to sleep" Jessica would say something like "How many hours is it to fly to New York?" and "My hair looks like Medusa" or I would start laughing about the dream thing.

Our answering machine light blinks erratically and causes green light to be filtered all over the room, so as a custom we put a pillow or a stuffed animal over it at night so it doesn't keep us up. So, during one of these lulls in the conversation, the light was bugging me and I stood up and almost fell over. Jessica heard me and asked what I was doing, and i said the answering machine was bugging me. I felt all over to try and find a pillow in the dark, saying things like "I can't find the stupid pillow! Where is it! I can't find it!" until she said I should use one of her stuffed animals on the floor. So I grabbed one - an elephant - by its trunk and I couldn't tell if it was right side up or not, or what kind of animal it was or anything, so I just held it up and said "Is this right?" and it was upside down with its legs in the air and I was holding onto the trunk. So that was semi funny.

Then during another lull, Jessica mentioned how much fun Ultimate Frisbee was, and I said I don't like sports because they make me look stupid and I get too tired too fast and I hyperventilate when I run too much, and she said "Yeah, well aren't you hypoglycemic or something?" And I said "Yeah but I don't think it's related to hyperventilating, except that they both start with h...p...e... no, h...y....vowel, or is it hpy vowel? hyp, hype, hypo, hm." And Jess was laughing hysterically and I was completely groggy, and then I started saying "or hip! Hip-oglycemic! Hip-erventilating! What if it were like that! haha!" and then I just started laughing which caused me to wake up fully and type this on here.

That is the weird morning. I think just having a semi lucid conversation with Jessica before 6 am is really the weirdest part.

My vacation was great. I just feel kind of weirded out right now. Heehee.

-Amber

;D I know it!

I had such a great day today!

I always have this weird feeling about asking for prayer because"I'm doing too much."
But then again, there's never anything I can't use prayer for, and maybe it's just that I needed to be able to focus on something inparticular or so.

This week seemed so insane on monday. Amazingly, I was able to get everything done at the last minute, and look! I have time left over to post about it. ha.

I got all of my lab assignments done, and lab was SO much fun today. I'm not sure what it was. I have a good lab partner now, and we got done an hour early. So, I have more than half of my monologue memorized for tomorrow, and I put together my bible lesson for 5 day club tonight. The church is down the street from the library! Ah. joy.

I love 5 day club. I haven't done one in such a long time, but I really enjoy doing them. The bible lesson is my favorite part too. I love telling stories to kids! I always learn more stuff about the bible stories when I teach them too - even when I've heard them hundreds of times. It's a bit of work to put it together, but it's so worth it in the end. Ha, I'm SO excited about tonight! To think I almost declined doing it because I had "too much homework." Ha!

I'm happy! So happy, I don't know what to say!

The sky was beautiful earlier. I parked in the parking garage at school for the first time today. I was on the 3rd level, and it was perfect for watching the sunset. Friday's are my new favorite day because of the time I get out of class. Right at sunset, and I can get the parking space.

I feel as if I'm doing a very poor job with my grammar, but I'm not really paying attention. I'm just writing. writing writing writing. HA. hahahhaa. okay. I'm going to explode with mirth if I don't find something serious to do.


-becca

ha, hair. You weirdo.

I'm glad you had a good day, though. To exhibit to our readers one of the qualities of a truly perfect friendship, I will now rejoice with you in your wonderful day, though mine wasn't nearly so great. In fact, I'm glad you had a good day, and I wish I could have spent it with you.

Oh by the way, remember "lilac"? Someone was looking through a book about plants and I remembered the pronunciation dispute. And the "picture" thing except I never say it wrong now. There was one more pronunciation argument...what was it?

Oh, and I actually heard someone say "you look like an Indian" the other day and I completely busted out laughing. Then I had to explain it, and it wasn't as funny, but you really should have been there.

Did you get my letter yet? I want to send another one (gotta use up that "tie-dye set"!)

Today is a Day of Prayer and Praise, which means that there are no classes, and all students are required to attend certain prayer meetings from roughly 8 - 12 am, after which we are free. First we were supposed to go to our advisor groups, and there were some miscommunications about who was our group's advisor (we had switched mid-semester last year) and what room we were supposed to be in, and then our advisor was like "well I don't know what we're really here to do, I don't have a speech planned or anything" and I was like "How about pray and praise since that's what the day is called?" So we did some of that, except it was great because it was more testimonies than anything. Like, one girl mentioned as a prayer request that she won't be coming back to school next semester because of finances. Instead of saying "fine, we'll pray for that," the instructor immediately began telling five or six stories about times he had needed certain amounts of money, and God always provided miraculously. It was amazing. He is Indian and sometimes it's hard to understand him, but because he is not speaking in his native language, it's easy to see how sincere he is and unfake. He told these stories to encourage the girl and also all in that particular group who were struggling financially. And it was amazing. It wasn't like one of those things you read about in forwarded emails, because this was the testimony from the person it happened to. He didn't say "I know a guy where this happened and it was awesome" he said "here are a few ways God has worked in my life." That, right there, is the definition of a testimony. And they were wonderful to hear.

I'm going to be gone to Mt. Hood for the weekend with a family from my Oregon church (I have two churches which I claim as mine - my "home" church or my "oregon" church. I love them both dearly.) They cross-country ski and snowshoe. I might not be good at skiing and I've never snowshoed, and I've never really "played" in more than three inches of snow, so this will be fun. In any case, my idea of a good time is to have time to sit and read or crochet. I'll bring homework, I'll have nice people to talk to, so even if I end up not going outside much it'll be fine. Woohoo!

-Amber

this shouldn't surprise you too much, but, amber: I CUT MY HAIR. bwahahahahhaa.

Not that much though. Just enough so that I wouldn't have to do anything to it. It's great. I wash it, I dry it, maybe I comb out, and I'm good for the day.

It's funny too, I never really have ever gotten compliments on my hair. Maybe a few people will notice if I cut it. I usually forget within a day. But today, wow. I actually counted TWELVE compliments! And this one lady at work - she is the sweetest person - kept coming back and telling me how nice it looked, and how I looked like I should be on a shampoo commercial, bleh bleh bleh.

Oh, make that thirteen!


I even bought shampoo AND conditioner. At .99 cents a bottle, who can resist? It smells like apple too, which is almost my favorite scent for shampoo.


Okay.

Enough about that. Wow, am I girly.

14! The day's not over yet!


I'm happy. I don't have anything else to say. Why am I so happy? I made tea, I slept, I got a lot of studying done, I even played piano! Is there anything but happiness in that?

aaah!

-becca

yo-yoers amaze me.

I used to know a few tricks, but I was never very good at it. It's not something I care to pursue at all, but still, people who can do it amaze me. Even if they do spend too much time on it.

It's 11am and I'm still in my pajamas. bwaha. My hair is so messy it feels like I have a squirrel on my head. I'm content. That reminds me though, I'm out of shampoo. I should go to WAL*MART today.

I made oatmeal. I like oatmeal. I think oatmeal is one of the greatest foods ever invented. I think I wrote a poem about oatmeal once. That was a while ago. When I was 13 or something. I don't remember it anymore. I doubt it was a good poem anyway. I don't think I've ever written a good poem.

Ha. I'M SO HAPPY TODAY! I don't have any specific reason for it, but I can't find any reason not to be happy. SO, I'll just have to live with it. mwehee.

I wonder if I can find the poem. Because, now I'm curious as to how it went.

ha. I found it. I had submitted it on poetry.com and it's still there. bwaha.

It was written in march 2001. Yep, 13.

"Ode to Oatmeal"
Oatmeal, Oatmeal, in my bowl,
Oatmeal, Oatmeal, you look dull,
Oatmeal, Oatmeal, make me drool,
Oatmeal, Oatmeal, you can't fool!
Oatmeal, Oatmeal, I hold the spoon,
Oatmeal, Oatmeal, you'll be eat'n soon!


well! I'm going to go play piano for a while. I haven't played much lately.

-becca

Why can't an ice storm come during school instead of the three-day weekend? Grr.

The ice storm explains why I am online at 11 pm after doing a Bible Marathon (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John, Acts, and Romans) for fourteen hours today (8 am-10 pm). Church is canceled, so it really doesn't matter what time I wake up tomorrow morning, and if I wake up late enough I won't have to eat into my oatmeal reserves for breakfast. It's unlikely I'll sleep in till 11, but in any case I have no appointments tomorrow whatsoever. If I can motivate myself to do my homework, that will be a great thing. I'll probably have to go to the library to do it - I'm not so great at accomplishing things when I am alone in a room with Internet.

I got a wonderful compliment today! At least, I think it was wonderful. A lady at the marathon whom I hadn't before known came and said to me after four hours of reading, "I know this is weird because I don't really know you, but you strike me as a very elegant person. You're so graceful. In fact, when you came in, my first thought was that you could easily be a princess in a fairy tale." I must say, it's an odd compliment, but the rest of the day I kept thinking like Sara Crewe, "I'm a princess!" and since I was so thoughtful as to bring my favorite old-fashioned copy of Frances Hodgson Burnett's "A Little Princess," I might read some of it tonight. I really love that story - that and "The Wolves of Wiloughby Chase" (though I'm probably spelling "wiloughby" wrong) by who knows who. I like stories of survival by children in cruel settings (though preferably not too cruel. In "The Wolves," children who tattletale on other children are given a piece of cheese, while the child tattled on gets no supper and survives by eating raw eggs. I love that kind of story.) Boxcar Children, mostly the first one, used to be my favorite book ever - "One night four children stood in front of a bakery. No one knew them. No one knew where they had come from." I liked Benny's special cup with the chip in it, the idea of fresh blueberries and milk, and I yearned for a dump near my house in which I could find useful things but Mom said that wasn't allowed in America.

I never really liked the Bobbsey Twins. No survival there. Just four names to keep straight, four identical personalities, and four people always splitting up in pairs for safety and learning how to retrace their steps. There was one about a hot-air balloon. That's all I remember.

Why am I talking about books I haven't read in years? Who knows. I want to talk about Bible Marathons.

Basically, you select the portion from the Bible you want to read, get together a group of people, and have people take turns reading aloud until it's done. It's simple. Unfortunately, it's very long. Genesis through Deuteronomy (minus about 40 chapters) took, I think, about 15 hours. Matthew, Acts-Ephesians, James, and Revelation seemed to take 15-16 hours. Today (Matthew - Acts) took 14 hours.

Why would anyone in their right mind give up an ENTIRE Saturday just to read the Bible?

So, before I tell you why I enjoy Bible marathons so much, I'll warn you that no retelling of any experience of mind will convince you of anything unless you try it for yourself.

First, there's the community. Today we had eight people total, which is a very small group. The other two times it seems we had 12 and 18 or so. Just like when you're finishing some boot camp you feel a certain bond with everyone who is graduating with you, so there is a bond with these people who have spent the same all Saturday cramped in someone's living room reading the Bible. But there's more than a bond, because by the end of the day you've heard everyone pray and spill their hearts in prayer, you've seen people cry, you've laughed at Scripture in ways you didn't even think the Word was funny, you've heard people's voices reading the same passages you're reading and heard them all stumble over difficult words. Sometimes people get so tired it's just hard to read the Bible right. For example, today I read from Matthew, "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth disagree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven." Then I paused, knowing something was wrong and kind of thinking "woah, the Bible says that? That's like a direct contradiction of other verses..." and then I replaced "disagree" with "agree" and it made sense. And everyone laughed. And there were always moments like that - always times to laugh. Like the verse in Acts - "With the reward he got for his wickedness, Judas bought a field; there he fell headlong, his body burst open and all his intestines spilled out." We just started laughing and "eww" ing and stuff. We all knew the verse was there, but it was just funny being read aloud in such a solemn setting. And the guy who was eaten by worms later in Acts...anyway.

So, first there's community. Second, I hope no one thinks I'm saying this to "sound holy" like people have accused me of which I think is completely unfair, that they can refrain from an action and say I'm only doing it in order to look good when it was they who chose to look at me in the first place. I just want to say that it is sometimes so wonderful to get an overview like this of the Bible. This is not Bible study. It's just reading passages that you may have read over and over and over before. Like the Gospels - it's the same story repeated four times. I heard the same story four times today. Guess what I have spent the majority of my time working on ever since school started? Studying the Gospels - all four of them - taking notes, taking more notes, and reading and reading and reading - for, you guessed it - my Gospels class. Was this stuff familiar? Of course it was. I've probably heard the story of Jesus' life, death, and life again a hundred times - in Sunday school, growing up reading the Bible, constant sermons, and then I come to Bible college and guess what I do ALL THE TIME? Read the Bible! Yes, it's hard sometimes, and sometimes it doesn't make sense and people tell me that after studying the Bible for four years they have more questions than they did when they came in. Someone said in one of my classes the other day that the Bible is not a book you read for pleasure. And it's not. There is something so much deeper.

I don't know if I can describe what the deeper thing is because I think I'm only beginning to grasp it. And then every once in a while I "get" something else and have this amazing sensation in which I think about how, if I have been saturated in Christianity for seventeen years and am only just getting some basic truths, how much harder it is for me to be able to witness to others these same basic truths! It's here where you have to look at yourself and look at all the people who you know you have to witness to, and go "okay, there is absolutely nothing I can do to change their minds" before you even start talking to them. Look, I've had people talking to me for seventeen years about Christ and saying inspirational things that didn't help one bit. What is talking, by itself, going to do? A person will not come to Christ unless the Holy Spirit is behind the endeavor, and that's it.

There was the man whose son had a demon, and the disciples couldn't drive the demon out, so finally the man went to Jesus and said "Your disciples tried to drive out my son's demon and he couldn't." Jesus, after some dialogue, proceeds to drive out the demon. Later his disciples say, "Hey, how come we couldn't drive out the demon, but you could?" and Jesus says, "This kind can only come out by prayer."

So, prayer is not supposed to be the last resort. It's the strongest weapon we have, really...I don't just mean with things in our own lives, like it's a weapon we wield when we pray for financial help or healing for a friend or for a house to be bought - but prayer helps the angels to fight the demons. It helps supernatural stuff. Earthly stuff too, but more supernatural, I think.

Of course, there are a lot of misunderstandings about what prayer is - I don't think I know everything there is t oknow about it. I just know there are misunderstandings. People think there's a certain way you're supposed to go. It's hard to say words when you don't mean them and then call it "prayer", and I think a lot of people do that - say "God, you're awesome, I mean really awesome Lord, thanks for this day and your abundant blessings and please heal my friend with cancer like I ask you every single day. Oh, and I pray that X would come to know Christ as her personal Lord and Savior, Amen." Okay, so that's kind of sarcastic...

This isn't a lecture, why it's just so disorganized. Just my rambling thoughts on stuff. Ha, and I started out talking about Bible Marathons.

I've noticed that sometimes God does not "feel" there. I used to think it was because I had been sinning. I would then repent, try to force out a few tears, and try to "feel" God being there again. Then when that failed, I first felt stupid, then felt stupid for even believing that there was a God and feeling stupid for thinking such paganistic thoughts, and I'd be depressed. To tell the truth, sometimes I wake up, take my journal and my blanket and my cup of tea and sit in the hallway, and I think "God is completely not here right now." And the next day, I'll feel like he's something there, ready to chat. Or whatever. I think my point is that God's existence doesn't depend on what I feel about him, or what I think about him. Christianity would be just like every other religion if it drew its entire basis from "feeling" that God is there and meditating and trying to feel feelings all the time. Sometimes I just have to say, "God, I know you're there, and I'm talking to you, but I don't feel you right now. So that's the way it is. So, maybe I'll see you in the morning. Maybe not." Based on the testimonies I've read of other Christians (some have felt this way for six months at a time) I think this is also a valid assumption.

Why would God do this? Why would he hide from his children, whom he loves? I think it's because he wants us to love him. That's really why we were created, to love him. He wants us to seek him, as he says continually in the Bible to "seek His face" and "seek His kingdom" and "seek righteousness". He wants to know that I love him even though my life isn't perfect and I feel blah because my devotions didnt "feel right". Just like when he asks Peter three times in a row, "Peter, do you love me?" He says things like "If you love me, you have to give up this world, your parents, your siblings, your job, all your wealth - basically, if you love me, you'll follow me, and by following me you'll do anything I ask, including giving up your life and all your possessions if I ask it of you, realizing by faith that I have prepared you something much greater than these in heaven." He wants to see if I will trust him through hard times, even if the hard time involves a time of doubt about his existence. It's hard to say "I do believe, but help me overcome my unbelief" when I'm not even sure if I'm praying. And then, it's like God pops out from behind the bushes and says "Boo! I was here the whole time, keeping an eye on you. I just wanted to make sure you were still devoted to me."

Anyway, it makes sense to me.

I have a feeling I just rambled about things that might not make sense. Email for any clarification. ladybugsnameisnotpaige@yahoo.com works fine.

Haha. Yesterday I fell asleep at 4 pm and woke up barely in time to eat dinner which stops being served at 6:30. As I ran to the cafeteria beside my roommate (who had thought dinner ended at 7), she asked me why I hadn't set my alarm. I told her it was almost unheard of for me to nap during the day, and even more rare that I should sleep for that long.

At 4:30 today, I again fell asleep and again failed to set my alarm. I figured that I wasn't really tired enough to sleep and I would get restless after laying down for half an hour and get up to do homework. I again failed to set my alarm, and figured Jessica would wake me up when it was time. I had all these dreams, and in each of them there was a clock that said it was 6:05 and I kept looking at all these clocks and thinking "I have twenty five more minutes to sleep." Next thing I knew, Jessica was in the room and she was like "Amber, you did it again," and I said "No, I didn't" and she said "You missed dinner" and I said "Nuh uh, I still have time" and she said "It's 6:28" and I was like "No it's not" and she said "fine" and then I sat up and she was right. So I pulled the covers back over my head and rested some more.

Jessica tends to wake up much later than me (she also tends to have classes that start two hours later than mine every day). She goes to bed pretty late every night, so while I have to get up at 6:30 every morning of the week, we go to bed at 12 or 1 or 2 every night of the week, and it gets pretty draining on me. I think afternoon naps are going to be a must. Or I'll just have to learn to sleep with someone else alive and kicking in the room. Except these last nights I haven't had a choice about when I go to bed because I've been doing homework up till that time, which was completely chaotic. I talked about that earlier, I think.

I really love my roommate. I couldn't ask for a better one. We take walks every day for a lot of reasons, but mainly because it's just so nice to get off campus. It becomes claustrophobic when the only places to hang out there's all these other people and you know all of them, and every event is a school sponsored events - more things you can do with these people you know...I don't know. It just gets so tiring! Of course, I hang out at Frank and Penni's house all days Sundays, so I get off campus more than the average student. But it's still nice.

It's so cold though! No snow yet - and I hope it doesn't come tonight, I'd rather it come Sunday since I have to get up early tomorrow morning too. It's definitely cold enough for snow though.

I'm doing another Bible Marathon tomorrow - Matthew - Romans, 14 hours. It'll be the shortest one I've done so far, I think, which is really odd because it's the longest one happening this year (the others are 10 hours). I'm happy because both the other times I've gone, I haven't really known anyone there, and this time two of my good friends will be there. I emailed Dr. G (that's Dr. Garry Friesen, the same one who wrote Decision Making) as soon as I got the email announcing the marathon, telling him I want to be in it, and he said I was too late and it was full. I signed my email "-Amber Mull" just in case he would remember who I was from his class last semester.

Then last night I was waiting outside Sutcliffe for my ride to worship practice and he came out of the building. I said "Hi, Dr. G!" and then I thought he probably couldn't recognize me because I was wearing a hat pulled down over my eyes and a hood and a bulky coat and a scarf. But, amazing man of memory that he is, he said "Hi, Amber! I got your email, and guess what! There might be room for you at the marathon, if you're willing to go last minute." I told him I was, and I got an email from him today saying there was a space! So I'm going! Even though I was really looking forward to the three day weekend in which to do homework, I basically said "well, God, it's all up to you - if I need Saturday for homework, you'll keep the door to the all-day marathon closed. If I can just work all day Sunday and Monday, you'll open the door." And now I'm actually pretty excited. I think we have a Day of Prayer later this next week too, which means an extra day off except for four hours in the morning! Haha!

hey, there's a place I can change the date, time, and year of this post. I could make you think I posted yesterday. Or tomorrow. Or twenty years from now.

Something kind of funny that happened: Jessica was reading something out loud to me because it was dumb and I agreed about the dumbness. Then she said "Here's the best part" and read something else on the thing. I looked over her shoulder and pointed out that it didn't say that, it said something else. She realized I was right - and she had been reading it wrong. She said, "Gosh, I can't read anything! I must be lysdexic."

Then we walked and kept saying things like "wask brickly!" and stuff. It was freezing cold so it hurt to breathe and even more to laugh and we were both pretty much dead after our 20 minuteish walk.

Today was the groundbreaking ceremony for the new Student Commons. We got out of chapel early, that was nice. One guy was announcing that we were all going to go down to the school again to the grassy area behind the SC, and he was like "Okay, now go and frolic down to the grassy knoll," and it was so funny. We just laughed about it all the way down.

I'm going to call a girl who wanted me to hang out with her tonight (because I'm so cool; no, actually, she was distressed that everyone else was doing stuff on Friday night except her, so I agreed to do homework in her room. Actually, I'll like the company because Jessica's going home for the weekend tonight.) and see if she has any food. I'm shameless and I'm hungry.

-Amber

Did you realize, that my name comes first in the title,and in our screen name?

It doesn't really mean anything. I just thought I'd point it out.

ha.

You know WHAT! I'm in such a happy state right now, I don't have anything to say! I'm just DONE studying biology. No, I'm not. I actually have a large-ish chapter to read, and I still have a small french assignment to finish up for tomorrow. I should probably memorize some verses for biblequiz too...BUT! I can't really concentrate on anything.

A cow just mooed and my mom said "HEY, kaitie!" and gave that look.

I guess only amber will get that.

What a boring post.


-becca

It's almost funny how Christians, when trying to make a decision, will try so hard to make the "right" one when both choices are equally morally right. They know that in all things they are to first consult God, so they pray, "Lord, show me which one." When no angel with a burning sword appears with a message from God, the Christian assumes he just isn't listening hard enough to God. Deliberately, the Christian then quiets all distractions, sits in a room and meditates, trying to focus on God, weighing both choices in his mind and trying to "feel" the choice God wants him to pick.

Anyway, the book Decision Making and the Will of God by Dr. Garry Friesen (who just happens to be one of the best profs at this school) talks all about how God gives us choices for us to make. That's not really what I'm talking about.

This is all just a pre-thing thing to explain what I'm about to say. I'm really saying, I know all this - I know that God gives me choices and he gives me freedom in my life - to choose what college I go to, to choose what I'm going to eat for breakfast, and even who I marry. Of course there are limitations (such as where the Bible says "marry only a believer" - but other than that, I can marry whoever I want). My point is, God does give us choices.

I know this. And yet I still do the whole "I feel like God is telling me this" thing. Two days ago I felt God was telling me to drop a class. I'm taking the maximum credits allowed here without paying extra, and it's hard. I have not had even one extra minute. I'm doing homework and going to class and eating and being antisocial and I have time for nothing - and this is all the beginning of the semester! I'm barely getting assignments done on time. And I felt God might be telling me that I need to drop my heavy credit load.

The thing was, I really didn't want to drop any classes. I am really going to try to graduate a semester early, which means I need to keep taking as many credits as I can. So I decided to wait a bit and see if God was going to reveal more of his will to me.

The very next day, I talked to two people. One girl was taking nineteen credits worth of classes but was only getting credit for eighteen because she needed the extra one for graduation but it wouldn't transfer because she wasn't paying for the course. The other girl was taking twenty credits, paying the extra amount because she was also trying to finish a semester early because she didn't have the funds and working thirty hours a week, and complaining about how the school wouldn't let her work more than thirty hours.

So, what was God trying to tell me? That I was taking too many credits, or that my workload could be worse? Mixed messages?

I don't think God was trying to tell me anything. At all. How's that? I think he's fine with my 18 credit decision. Why wouldn't he be? Lots of students take 18 credits. The school allows it. I'm obviously not doing it to be masochistic, and I'm not doing it for the unbelieving gasp I get when a person asks me how many credits I, a freshman, am taking and I say 18. I know I'm not sinning.

I don't know if that made sense. I think the whole issue of a "silent God" bothers some Christians - like, "God, should I do this or that? Why don't you answer?" One of my teachers illustrated it this way. He said, "I'm offering my kids cookies. I have three different kinds of cookies, and they are allowed to take one cookie of any of the three kinds. Will I punish them if they guess wrong and choose the 'wrong' cookie? Of course not! God is a father to us, just as we are fathers to our children."

It reminds me of that verse - it's in the gospels, and I had it memorized at one point. It's like, "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give to those who ask him" or something. Jesus said that. So, if God is giving you a choice, pick one.

And read Decision Making and the Will of God. A new edition came out this year. Get it.

-Amber

I got my first migraine since getting the medicine! It was funny because I kept waiting to get one, because I wanted to see if the medicine worked. Then I was talking to Jessica and finishing up Mark and suddenly I wasn't able to see all that well, and I saw little dots of light and started feeling weird and got my whole "Am I getting a migraine? Am I not getting a migraine? Of course I'm getting a migraine, this always precedes a migraine, but am I really experiencing what I think I'm experiencing?" thing.

Then I got the aura majorly. It was at night, too! I've never gotten a migraine at night...anyway, I took the meds right away and then just kind of stared at the ceiling for the next half hour, feeling sick and dizzy and watching the aura move from the bottom of my vision to the very side to the very top, then straight down until it disappeared. I waited for something to happen. Jessica read the pill container for me since I couldn't, and I wasn't sure some things about it. The doctor said there were all these side effects that might happen from the medicine, and did they! I got freezing cold first and I thought it was the room so i was going to turn up th eheat, but Jessica said she wasn't cold, so I just put on a sweatshirt and a heavy coat and two blankets and laid down. That was good because then I got really really sleepy and my legs hurt, and Jessica kept asking me concerned questions and I was just like "uh, dunno, ummmmmm..."

An hour and a half later, I made myself start moving and now I'm nearly back to normal without a migraine! I guess it probably works then! Except I almost knew I was going to get one because I had "that feeling" all day that something was completely wrong. I wonder if I can blame my lethargic, uncaring attitude on that. I shouldn't, though. anyway.

I think Spanish class will be better this semester than last. The class is more organized this time, and two people smaller so we're 7 people including the teacher. I like the teacher more now, and she's really cracking down on using only Spanish in class which is really helpful to me because suddenly I'm like "WOAH, I know a LOT more Spanish than I thought I did!" which motivates me to study more.

I thought I had more interesting things to say...I'm reading a lot of amazing things in Matthew, and great things I'm realizing, even though I've read Matthew millions of times before I see it differently.

I love becca a lot. I am sincerely overjoyed that she's my very own friend.

My family lost the house they made an offer on. I can now publicly say it.

Adios!

-Amber

what, another post? More of a short blurbleabugorgj.

YES. I'm online.
A good portion of my homework is online now, so after an hour or two of studying, I give myself a 10-20 minute break. It's a nice time to get some tea, stretch, or clear my mind out a little by writing in this journal.

It is terribly cold in my room, and it makes it hard to study.

I like the cold, because I like to drink copious amounts of tea, wear bushy socks, wrap up in a fleece blanket or two, sink into a plushy cushion, and in general, be cozy. It's a satisfying feeling. And I'm one of those cuddle people.

But, when I need to study, or want to read, or play an instrument, I prefer it to be mildly warm. It's hard to read a book if your arms are bound inside of a blanket. But it's hard to concentrate on a book while shivering.
The joy of playing piano is always depleted when my fingers are too cold to feel the keys. Being cold slows me down; makes me sleepy.

Maybe I'll go do some jumping jacks.

Aujourd'hui c'est lundi. hurrah.

-becca

I don't do titles either, if you hadn't noticed. :P

I always hear of statistics and then forget what the percentage actually was. But, there is some statistic about how much of your life you spend waiting for something. I bet you're above average!

Tip: To be a good friend, you should practice offering some sort of consolation when the other is in distressful circumstances. I obviously need practice.


I just took the chapter one quiz for my biology course. WOW, was it easy. I got 100%! woo! I have two more chapters to read and finish quizzes on. When I first logged on, I didn't like the way the website was laid out at all. After some exploration though, I found that I could rearrange everything the way I liked it. I also found a lot of links for online resources that have proven to be helpful so far.
I didn't think I'd like doing quizzes online because I'm not used to it, but it's nice that I can take a quiz and then know how I did immediately afterward. I got one question wrong on the syllabus quiz. I accidently entered a grade percentage for a different exam than the one in question. oops. I have a feeling my grade will be based more on lab assignments and how I do on the mid-terms.


I was viewing bible college websites and requesting information today. I hadn't ever thought of going to a bible college seriously before, but now, it seems like a good idea. Mainly because this 3 month intensive training I've been interested in taking counts as 16 credits toward some affiliated colleges. I kept coming back to this one that's in Salem, OR. I think I looked at every single page on the website. I even almost decided on a major! I don't think I'd go to school without a pointed major in mind. I tend to be able to change my mind about a life plan in a matter of days. Amber knows all about this.
But, this seems different. It's something I've been interested in on and off throughout my life, but I haven't felt very confident that I could actually pull it off. Although, now I've almost been able to convince myself that maybe with schooling I could accomplish it. Such assurance! ha.

I don't think I could tell anyone anything more about it. I hardly have a grasp on whether this is something I can achieve or not. I'm almost fearful of what someone else might say.

"PAH, pah! PAAAAAAAH!" Or, possibly something more articulate, "DUH, duh! DUUUUUH!"
Both of which meaning, "What, you already can't do that worth squat, what makes you think you ever will?"

The reason I'm slightly timid about this isn't because I bend my opinions to whatever anyone else thinks, no.
But, I probably would only tell this to someone who, for the most part, has seen what I'm capable of, and whose judgement I trust. Therefore, I'd value their opinion slightly higher than just anybodies. But, with my current opinion - which has probably been over-elaborated on already - anything negative may just banish the idea from my mind forever. Which may be a good thing. But I'd rather it happened without it being out in the open.

change of subject!

I had a nice hot cup of peach black tea today. It's really good! I think it cured me of my celery mouth.

Elaboration:
For some reason, since last week, everything I have eaten has left an after-taste that is somewhat similar to celery. That's what always comes to mind, anyway. It's odd. I'll take a sip of coffee and think "mmm good coff...celery?" or be eating a yellow mentos...no wait, those always taste like celery. I think they're supposed to be banana, but most artifically banana flavored things only resemble bananas in the fact that they taste bad.

It's almost like how Josh couldn't taste sweetness for a week after he ate a raw rhubarb.

I haven't had any celery lately. Or raw rhubarb for that matter. ha. That was funny when that happened to him.

-becca

Is this text too small? This is generally the size I like to type in, but maybe it's difficult to read. I don't know. I'm not wearing glasses at the moment though, so maybe it's not that bad.

Transportation was an issue from the very first time I started attending this church.

At first we were going to just walk to and from church every Sunday morning and Thursday night, but that quickly became not-an-option when the "we" became "I" and it's not really safe to walk that particular street of Portland because of all the seedy businesses and freaky things that go on there. Especially at night. Especially alone.

So, then I made arrangements with various people to get picked up at certain times at certain places on campus. There were always misunderstandings. For one thing, there are multiple entrances to the campus. It's sometimes confusing, especially at night. I would wait on the sidewalk by the road, or in front of a certain dorm, or in front of a certain building - and whoever was supposed to pick me up was waiting for me at a different building.

Sometimes people just forgot to pick me up, on account of being elderly and forgetful.

Sometimes they came and I "wasn't there." Later, when I was twenty minutes late to worship practice, they would say, "well, we said we'd pick you up at 9:30, and we were there to pick you up at almost 9:30 and you weren't there so we just left." Well, I was there at nine-thirty. Who's fault is that? They are the ones supposed to be doing me the favor, so of course it's mine. They're nice about it, but I can tell they are frustrated with my incompetence, and I hate it when people think I'm incompetent.

Then someone else said she'd start picking me up for worship practice since I kept on being late with the other people. I said great, that's fine. I always came early to wait at the front, just so that no one would have to wait for me again. This usually resulted in waits of 15 or 20 minutes in the cold. Once, no one came at all. I waited in the cold for half an hour before finally getting someone from the school to drive me to worship practice. She was there, and she said she had been there to pick me up at the appropriate time, had waited for 15 minutes, and had finally left. But the thing is, I was there at the right time! I was even there early! She didn't even have a clock on her so she didn't know what time it was then. I was so mad. But again, I couldn't complain because I was the one being done a favor and thus, once again, it was my fault.

I left for Christmas break. Before I left, I printed out very clear lists about what dates and times I would not require being picked up, and what date and time I would return and appreciate a ride. So I waited this Thursday night in the cold, again, for 20 minutes. No Robin. I called someone else and they picked me up and took me to church. As they drove me, I wondered out loud why Robin hadn't come.

"Oh," they said, "she didn't know if she was supposed to pick you up or not, so she didn't."

"But," I said, "I typed out a list of dates I would be gone and when I would be coming back, and what time, and everything! I gave it to her!"

"She lost the list," they told me.

So, why didn't she call me and find out? It was kind of rude, I think, to just not call me. I hate it! I hate that people are blaming me for this thing and I can't even help it! I need to start bringing homework to do out there in front of Sutcliffe because I just stand there in the cold. If I were to add up how long I have spent just standing there, singing or shivering or stamping my feet, trying to call people who aren't answering their phones to find someone to pick me up, and using up my cell phone minutes in the process, I'm sure it would add up to at least six hours this last semester. It's a completely miserable, abandoned feeling. I guess I'm kind of selfish about it too - I have this whole "I'm their piano player, aren't I? I'm important, right? Why can't they just pick me up?" And I can't help comparing it to my old church where stuff like this never happens. They say "we'll pick you up at 6," they'll pick you up right then, and if they are going to be two minutes early or late they call you and let you know. They communicate. And I try so hard, and still people don't communicate with me. Ugh. It drives me nuts! But now I'm going to bed where I won't complain anymore, because today has been a day of complaining and I thought that maybe by complaining about something that was unrelated to my present causes to complain I might feel like I don't need to complain about anything anymore at all.

And if becca doesn't check her email soon and write me back, I think I'm going to explode.

-Amber

Every time I make a post, I'm tempted to put "I don't do titles." as the title. Except, I really don't do them. At all. Oh well.

Becca, I'm glad you finally posted so I don't have to feel dumb posting three times in a row. And do you think I try to write long posts? I don't! I just start typing and suddenly I become a real blabbermouth. At least I'm not calling you and reading my posts out loud.

Want to know something weird? If you hit the italicized "i" button up there, stuff will go italicized. If you hit "Ctrl+i," it will also italicize. Except if you tinker with it long enough the program gets messed up so that the button will be depressed - as if you really are writing in italics - but your font will be unitalicized. And then when you unpress it, your font will go italicized. And it's all wrong. Or maybe it was my imagination.

I made iced tea and am drinking it constantly. I keep wanting to go to the store and get my list of cold comforts but it's been raining bad and it's so cold, even with all the layers I'm wearing. Apparently not cold enough for snow though, we were supposed to get some today.

All day yesterday was the worst fit of homesickness I've ever had! It took me an entire semester to feel homesick. Jessica and I both felt it. We went around all day kind of "blah" and everything nice happy things happened, they only made us happy for like ten seconds. That's what happened to me all day. It would have been a WONDERFUL day normally - so many good things happened - except I was homesick. Finally I cried hard for about three seconds which is becoming normal for me. It's hard to prolong crying when you're alone, really - practicality kicks in soon.

Everyone was asking me if things were going well with my new roommate yesterday. Of course they were. But I only moved in twenty four hours ago, I told them, and it's hard to tell. Of course, I knew I'd like Jessica already, so it's not really a big deal now. What's a big deal is unpacking the random stuff packed into one closet and one big bag that was titled "Stuff I am leaving at college for break but must pack and shove into Tiffany's closet because of complications." I cleaned out the closet this morning in a spurt of post 8-o'clock-class-energy, and dumped everything on my bed. Yes, the closet looks quite nice now. I think I just needed to see it that way in order to get the will to keep going.

I then organized stuff. This was really fun. I was so proud of it, I was showing it off to Jessica and she said I was weird. On the ledge by my bed, I first have a brown grocery bag with food products in it. At the moment this contains 8 Cups-a-Noodles that Christy gave me because she didn't like them anymore and four packets of oatmeal I failed to eat last semester (which is good because tomorrow's Saturday and they don't serve breakfast).

Next to that is my tea shoebox, newly replenished with tea I brought from home. Next to that is a green cylindrical container with German cherubic kid faces printed on it. I got it for Christmas. from a German grandma, aka "Oma." It has plastic spoons for stirring in it.

Then comes a plaid gift bag which has tea equipment in it - two infusers and about seven coasters.

Then comes an empty Kleenex box with all my cocoa and cider packets in it.

Behind that is a Christmas gift bag (red with snowmen) with my cold drink mixes in it - lots of iced tea that Mom didn't want, and some kool-aid type stuff sent to me from the Philippines from one of my cousins.

Next to these items is a red bowl with random candy in it, as well as some almost-but-not-quite cough drops which are supposed to prevent colds. I've been taking them to help me stop coughing. They don't help but I take them anyway.

Below all of these things is a cubby sort of thing, and there I will put all my mugs after I wash them.

I am so darn proud of that area of my room that whenever I'm organizing other things and I get frustrated and discouraged, I just look at the wonderfully organized food products corner of the room and feel instantly better.

Good day.

-Amber

Those posts of monstrosity you keep making are unfair. I'll never catch up.

That day was fun. It will ever be a fond remembrance - that is, if we still remember after a few months. The day of listening to bad books on tape, attempting to do a puzzle (it's back in it's box now, I never did any more of it), laughing at noodles, eating pizza, and uh, being stupid. Believe it or not, at first, I was sort of irritated, because I had "all" this studying I wanted to get done that day. But I was glad we hung out. Especially now that school has started. Meh. Not that I don't enjoy school. I really find what I'm learning fascinating and fun.

I'm currently at the library, because the next class I have doesn't start until 2:30. I'm not at the school library though. I decided yesterday that I dislike it quite a deal. It's so small and there's never a place to study without asian kids making jokes. Poor trick. But, it's okay, because the *name of branch withheld* library is much quieter and easier to study in. And, it's only a 10 minute drive from the school.

(did you catch that? Did you catch that reference right there? Read over it again. Did you see it? Huh?)

Oh right, I should be studying. I have quite a bit of homework to do, but I also have time to do it in. I'd rather get it done now so that tonight I could actually do something FUN. Or, really, I have to watch a french movie. But that could be fun, right? Unfortunately, all of the french films in the library system seem to be way overdue or lost.

I wonder if BlockBuster has any.

I also can't seem to find "Cyrano De Bergiac" (par Edmund Rostand) in it's original language. drr.

Well, my computer time is up in 4:09 minutes.

I had a very disgusting cup of coffee this morning. It tastes like celery.

I went to the dentist yesterday. I have never had a bad experience at the dentist. I know a lot of people "hate" going to the dentist because of past experiences. My mom doesn't like it. My sister doesn't like it. But, I don't really mind it.
I have to go have a wisdom teeth consultation soon. The Doctor said that there was ALMOST enough room, but not quite enough. I don't have to do it right away though, because they haven't been hurting. I'm going to wait for the quarter to end if I can. There's something wrong with my jaw too. It pops out whenever I open it wide. He said it might be wisdom tooth related. woo.

Everything you wanted to know!


-becca

Now I am posting because I'm waiting for Heidi so I can take her to Grandma's, come back, and then leave for school. At the moment, all of my belongings are in boxes with papers taped on the top that say "If you can't read this text, please flip the box over. THIS SIDE UP" which I thought was rather ingenious of me. Is that how you spell it? Ingeneous. Looks like igneous. Igneous, and what are the other two types? Metamorphic and sedementary? Hm.

As I was saying, all my belongings are either taped into five of those boxes stacked in the closet of my now-completely-empty room, stuffed into boxes and bags and random containers awaiting a journey back to school, or stuffed into former Tiffany's closet at school. I cannot at this moment explain why there are stuff in boxes because it's a big family secret.

So, this is great. Here's what'll happen this evening. I get to school, we unload my stuff, then Mom and I eat in the cafeteria (or hopefully elsewhere so I can taste good food for the last time in three months!) Mom leaves to spend the night at Aunt Carol's, and I open The Closet.

This closet, as I mentioned, used to be Tiffany's closet until Tiffany moved out. Tiffany moved out after I left, which meant that I had to move my stuff in while she was still in there. As I've talked about before. So, she cleaned out her closet and I stuffed pretty much all my belongings into there. By handfuls. And when I open the closet, it will all come flying out and I'll have to find some way to make all my belongings fit into half a room where formerly they were in a whole room. Compared to most people at school I don't have a lot of stuff, but I still have enough to be a big pain to move around.

I think it's because of my bedstuff. I have an obsession with blankets and pillows, and lots of them. I do have lots of them. I like taking a long time making my bed in the morning and making it look nice. I think...yes! I even have a stuffed bear. Becca gave it to me one Christmas...three Christmases ago I think. She then informed me she'd randomly pulled it out of some free box and said "hm, I'll give this to Amber" but that's okay, I still love her and I still love the as yet unnamed bear. I used to have a white bear with a button that said "gund" on it. I wonder if it came from Germany. It seems like a German word.

Anyway.

Guess what I'm doing when I get there, besides unpacking and buying my books because classes start tomorrow?

I forget.

No wait, I remember!

This might happen sometime tomorrow too, but I'm going to the pharmacy and Safeway to get the following items:

lemon juice
honey
cough drops
sore throat spray
Nyquil
nasal decongestant
lotion Kleenex, four boxes
hand sanitizer

I will keep these items in a box with a label on it. I'm nearly over the worst of my cold, but I want to have the stuff for next time someone gets sick because inevitably once people learn you have medicine, you become the pharmacist. And I like to be nice and have medicine and comfort items available. If a close friend gets sick, I might even invest in tomato soup and milk. When I was little it was my dream to be a nurse. I think it's because I like taking care of people. I like bossing people and telling them to take medicine or rest. However, I couldn't be a nurse because I don't like math and I don't want to stick needles into people and now that I'm older I hear awful things about the occupation "registered nurse" and the bad hours and treatment and stuff. It doesn't help that I live near the worst hospital on the planet.

Ugh, is Heidi ready yet?

She keeps saying "almost."

it's been nearly twenty minutes.

Ugh!

Well, I guess the later we leave, (i'm trying to think of something positive here), the more likely it is that dinner time will approach on the way down and we can stop at a nice restaurant to eat.

Like RibEye. I've only eaten there once, on the way to Cannon Beach, and every time I see it I want to eat there and sit at the same table as I did four/five years ago when we were there last.

It's right next to a Mcdonalds. That's the same McD's we stopped at once on the way back from CB so Mel could use the bathroom. I got coffee. I went in with bare feet. I remember that, wondering if anyone would notice that I didn't have shoes on because it just felt weird to be in a public place without shoes on. It was cold and my feet were cold but I enjoyed looking around seeing if anyone would notice that I had no shoes on. I almost wanted to be kicked out of the restaurant.

Maybe I had socks on...

maybe it was summer and I wasn't cold. Maybe I'm just cold now so I think I was then.

Except I'm not cold now.

Isn't Heidi ready yet?

she's all mad at me now because I keep asking her. I'm the one who has a right to be mad.

-Amber

I'll work on the blog template some time later.

Here's a list of things I failed to accomplish this break:

Lots and lots and lots of reading
Website updation

Pretty good, huh?

I did get some reading done, though, and it was very satisfactory. I borrowed three books from my aunt and completed one of them. I'm desperately trying to finish the second before I leave tomorrow. It's the first Mitford book - At Home in Mitford by Jan Karen. Karon? I can't remember. Anyway, I remember a couple of years ago my mom, my aunts, and my female cousins were all urging me to read "The Mitford books" so I read the first few pages and decided they weren't my type. Now I've stopped procrastinating and I'm putting a real effort into liking them.

With Taliesin, I put a real effort into liking the series. I read the first 500 page whopper. I believe now I got an adequate taste of what the rest of the series is like. The plot is kind of predictable, actually...but that's not why I've decided not to complete the series. It's fantasy. I've never been able to get into fantasy. I don't even like Lord of the Rings (I can see you now - "And you consider yourself an avid reader! Gasp! Do you like the movies? Don't you know the movies were based on BOOKS? How can you not like the books!" Now that I've predicted your thoughts, you don't need to tell me them. So there.) I don't like the remaining books of the Ender series past the first three, because they seem to turn into more fantasy than sci-fi to me. Of course, I'm aware there is a fine line between the two.

I am only 150 pages into the Mitford series and I absolutely love it. I heard that you have to get through the first book in order to appreciate the rest in the series. Really, you have to get through the first 25 pages. The only thing that's hard is the introduction of all these characters. Presumably, the author will stick only to those characters throughout the rest of the series, making the reader's job of memorizing less painful. I do find that I have to reread even as I'm reading to make sure I have the characters straight. It's complicated. But it's sure fun reading. Definitely not deep. It's the perfect ten minute novel - you can sit down and read it for ten minutes and then get up and do something else and then sit down again. Nothing so amazing as to glue your eyes to the page, but just enough light humor to keep you in your seat until you think of something else that needs to be done. It's a very easygoing book. Very non-intense after Taliesin. You might like it, you might not. I tend to think it's a book girls would like more than guys. It's cute. Merely the fact that I rarely use that word should convince you that it is. You're supposed to read it in your pajamas with a cup of tea and a blanket and light piano music playing while it's raining outside - moreso with this book than with pretty much any other, I think.

Anyone who enjoyed Lake Woebegon Days might enjoy this one. I never finished Lake for some reason, but this book is written in the same style only a whole lot better.

I usually don't give book reviews until I've finished the book, but I don't know if I'll have time to finish this one.

I went to the doctor today and got me some migraine medicine. She said if it doesn't work I have to go on birth control pills. Bleah. I've heard horrible things about those.

I then went and got a new pair of shoes because my old pair has holes and are grossly dirty and are falling apart at the seams. I threw them away. After I tossed them, my mom said, "so how many pairs of shoes do you have now?" I replied, "One." she just laughed. I don't even have dress shoes even though I really should get some. I just hate wearing them is all. They look bad on me and it's hard to find decent looking/fitting ones that don't have heels, since I refuse to wear high heels. So I always wear tennis shoes with my skirts - probably a big shocker for the Presbyterian church I play piano at every Sunday in Oregon!

I'm sitting here, typing, waiting for my mom to come back. We have to go into the HIghlands to pick up the van which is getting the transmission fixed, so that I can drive the car back and she'll drive the van. I think I"ll do some shopping while I'm up there.

Aha, she's back!

-Amber

Now it's later in the day. Mom took the van home and said I could do some shopping with the car. First I went to Debbi's house because I had left some cocoa at her house a while back and I wanted to pick it up (Snow is expected in Portland on Friday!!!!!). She looked really tired and I asked if I could get her anything at the store, and she laughed and said "A decaf mocha, just kidding." But of course I got her one anyway! Ah, it's so nice to be able to do nice things for other people.

Then I went to two thrift stores and bought yarn - a fair sized amount. Four nice purpleish skeins and an ugly yellow one that seems to be a big favorite for hats now, all for 2.50, and then a bag of various shades of white balls for 5.00. I had a nice conversation with the Hispanic lady at the first one (they only hire Hispanics at the Union thrift store) about the creaky door and how there wasn't much business.

I came home. It is so, so wonderful to be able to drive alone in a car. Never take that for granted if you do. I found myself praying. It's so much easier to pray when you're alone in a car. It was beautiful weather today. Driving up to Highlands, oh! It's impossible to describe. I had a sort of flashback about how this road was the same one we've always driven up to go to Highlands ever since I was really really...well, ever since I was born, really. And the sun was out, and the shadows were perfect, and I was looking at all the new buildings and also at the old buildings like the Bingo place with a crooked B. I was pretty much flooded with nostalgia. It was great. At the same time it was really sad - it's pretty pathetic when you finally feel like you're home after two and a half weeks of being home, and then you have to leave the next day.

Oh well.

I am tired. Why didn't I get myself some coffee while I was getting Debbi some?

I found a Starbucks card in the car. I hope it's mine.

Except, I think it's Melody's. That's what she wanted for Christmas - a Starbucks card, so she could go and get hot chocolate there. She turns eight in a week and a half...

There's only one break for spring semester!! And that's THREE months away! March 21-28. How shall I survive? I sure hope someone comes and visits me, otherwise I think I'll die. Lots of emails, lots of phone calls, letters, packages, and visits!

I'm hungry, but Mom's cooking dinner. She cooks so good. I'm worried about when I get married, because I can't cook all that much stuff. I make good biscuits. That's about it. And tomato soup, but that's Campbell's and doesn't really count. Neither do sandwiches. I can make quiche but I don't know if it's any good, and our recipe doesn't have onions in it.

Someday I'd like to marry a guy who likes bell peppers (but will live without them for my sake) and go through a cookbook and make everything in it. The reason I can't do the cookbook thing now is because there is so much stuff with bell peppers in it and I would feel like I was cheating if I skipped them.

Then I could take the best recipes and copy them out and put them into some computer program. Is there a recipe program? It seems there is...Mom used to have some Julia Child computer program for recipes. Hm. Okay.

Last week, I got my hair cut professionally. No more wake-up-Saturday-morning-in-becca's-house-and-can't-find-the-brush-so-ask-becca-to-cut-my-hair spontaneous moments ("somebody help me! I'm being spontaneous! Mardi Gras! Woooooooooo!" - Truman Show). My aunt said she'd pay for a cut by her hairdresser so I said sure, why not. (My aunt is in the business of making me more girly, by the way - I flatly refused to have my colors done at the mall so I could learn how to apply makeup.) The lady started asking me what I wanted done to my hair, and I basically kept telling her I really didn't care, so she got all excited like hairdressers do (but she was professional looking so I didn't take that as a bad sign) and now my hair, if I do say so myself, actually looks pretty darn nice. So there. It's only a little bit shorter. In fact, it's hardly noticeable. I just got some layers and stuff. Fancy fancy.

Oh, I must talk about yesterday - not for the sake of our eager readers, but in order to document the happenings of Break so I can go back and read about them during the next three months.

Well, I've been kind of sick with a minor cold so I wasn't feeling that well yesterday. becca called at, oh, I don't know. It doesn't matter what time she called. Then she came over to pick me up, but she had to wait half an hour for my mom to get home since there was no one to watch Mel. We ate grapefruit. We talked about how I was giving up on my puzzle because I felt sick and irritated and depressed because my throat was hurting so much. Then we went to her house and listened to "The Giraffe, the Pelly, and Me," which is a book on tape we picked up at the library on a whim the day before. It's by Roald Dahl. It's not terribly good. Then we went to Blockbuster (no more late fees! I love that commercial, even though I don't have an account at Blockbuster) and on the way to Blockbuster we were deciding what to get for dinner for the whole family for under five bucks because that was all we had, and I said "Albertson's has Cup-a-Noodles on sale for a quarter" and she started laughing and I said "Why are you laughing?" and she said "I don't know, I guess it just sounded funny" and then I started laughing because it was funny that she was laughing for absolutely no reason and we just giggled a lot and it was really dumb but really funny. And neither of us had had coffee! Then we got to Blockbuster and got Truman Show. Then we went to Albertson's and got frozen pizza. Red Baron. Better than Tombstone. Then we watched a few tv Spongebob episodes while the pizza was cooking, then we started Truman Show. About halfway through the movie becca started being completely silly and idiotic which made me the same way (utterly unfair) and caused me to hit her several times.

We watched two Spongebob episodes on that dvd that I still haven't seen, called the "Christmas" dvd but with only like one Christmas episode on it. Then becca took me home. I stayed up late reading.

Okay! All done. I need to pack. Actually the packing is well under way - it's the laundry that's really pressing right now. Everyone else's clothes are in all the bins, the dryer, and the washing machine. Stupidly, yesterday when Mom told me to take my clothes out of the dryer, I was feeling too sick to fold them so I threw them in a heap on the bathroom floor. Now they're cold and wrinkled and very unsatisfactory to fold. I want to redry them to take out the wrinkles but, as I said before, there are someone else's clothes in the dryer. And the other members of my family don't have to have all their clothes packed to go tomorrow. Hmf.

-Amber