It's almost funny how Christians, when trying to make a decision, will try so hard to make the "right" one when both choices are equally morally right. They know that in all things they are to first consult God, so they pray, "Lord, show me which one." When no angel with a burning sword appears with a message from God, the Christian assumes he just isn't listening hard enough to God. Deliberately, the Christian then quiets all distractions, sits in a room and meditates, trying to focus on God, weighing both choices in his mind and trying to "feel" the choice God wants him to pick.

Anyway, the book Decision Making and the Will of God by Dr. Garry Friesen (who just happens to be one of the best profs at this school) talks all about how God gives us choices for us to make. That's not really what I'm talking about.

This is all just a pre-thing thing to explain what I'm about to say. I'm really saying, I know all this - I know that God gives me choices and he gives me freedom in my life - to choose what college I go to, to choose what I'm going to eat for breakfast, and even who I marry. Of course there are limitations (such as where the Bible says "marry only a believer" - but other than that, I can marry whoever I want). My point is, God does give us choices.

I know this. And yet I still do the whole "I feel like God is telling me this" thing. Two days ago I felt God was telling me to drop a class. I'm taking the maximum credits allowed here without paying extra, and it's hard. I have not had even one extra minute. I'm doing homework and going to class and eating and being antisocial and I have time for nothing - and this is all the beginning of the semester! I'm barely getting assignments done on time. And I felt God might be telling me that I need to drop my heavy credit load.

The thing was, I really didn't want to drop any classes. I am really going to try to graduate a semester early, which means I need to keep taking as many credits as I can. So I decided to wait a bit and see if God was going to reveal more of his will to me.

The very next day, I talked to two people. One girl was taking nineteen credits worth of classes but was only getting credit for eighteen because she needed the extra one for graduation but it wouldn't transfer because she wasn't paying for the course. The other girl was taking twenty credits, paying the extra amount because she was also trying to finish a semester early because she didn't have the funds and working thirty hours a week, and complaining about how the school wouldn't let her work more than thirty hours.

So, what was God trying to tell me? That I was taking too many credits, or that my workload could be worse? Mixed messages?

I don't think God was trying to tell me anything. At all. How's that? I think he's fine with my 18 credit decision. Why wouldn't he be? Lots of students take 18 credits. The school allows it. I'm obviously not doing it to be masochistic, and I'm not doing it for the unbelieving gasp I get when a person asks me how many credits I, a freshman, am taking and I say 18. I know I'm not sinning.

I don't know if that made sense. I think the whole issue of a "silent God" bothers some Christians - like, "God, should I do this or that? Why don't you answer?" One of my teachers illustrated it this way. He said, "I'm offering my kids cookies. I have three different kinds of cookies, and they are allowed to take one cookie of any of the three kinds. Will I punish them if they guess wrong and choose the 'wrong' cookie? Of course not! God is a father to us, just as we are fathers to our children."

It reminds me of that verse - it's in the gospels, and I had it memorized at one point. It's like, "If you then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give to those who ask him" or something. Jesus said that. So, if God is giving you a choice, pick one.

And read Decision Making and the Will of God. A new edition came out this year. Get it.

-Amber