"Excuse me. Excuse me. Yes, you, hello. Do you see this cookie? Do you see how brown it is? Here's another one, see how light it is? They're all supposed to be this light. This one's hard, this one's soft. This one's brown...do you see how light it is? Is there any possible way I could have a cookie that is not burnt? Oh, you don't have any. What a shame. Well, can I have a different kind of cookie? Okay. Because look at it, it's burnt. Feel it, it's hard. And it's for my son, and he won't eat it if it's hard, because that's just disgusting. Does that make sense? Okay, I want an oatmeal raisin cookie. Okay. And I would like a bag with that. Alright, you can have the burnt one we didn't eat. Don't forget your cookie, hahaha!...

...It's too bad you're out of those strawberry cheesecake pastries. Oh, you're out? What, you say you don't sell them? Of course you sell them! I used to come in here and buy them all the time! Well, I know that you sell them. I used to come in here and buy them ALL THE TIME. Excuse me, I know it was here. That's just really, really weird. I know they sell them here. Maybe you don't know what I'm talking about - they had strawberries in them, and they were pastries...Are you sure you don't sell them?"

This was a customer from yesterday. I had just walked in and he was sitting at a table, eating his sandwich with his daughter. He wouldn't stop talking and repeating himself; it was SO annoying. And then this strawberry cheesecake pastry thing...I mean, gosh, I think I would know whether or not we sold them. I kept saying, "I'm sure you're right, but we have not sold anything like that for the time I've been working here." "Oh, when did you start working here?" "September." "Oh, I've been here way longer than you've been here." He really was just trying to ruin my day.

In contrast, I had a really lovely customer the other day. She and her husband were ordering, and she answered all of my questions as they came, but her husband did the whole "ordering the vegetables while we're on the bread" thing. You know, while I'm trying to juggle the meat, cheese, bread, and sizes of two sandwiches, he throws in "and I want everything except jalopenos, green peppers, cucumbers, and a LOT of pickles and no tomatos either, and do you have honey mustard?" And his wife chastised him. "Sweetheart, look - the vegetables and the sauces are way down there, and she's still working up here. I'm sure she'll ask us what vegetables you want when she's ready!" He just grinned at me. They were adorable, and she was sweet, and she understood my viewpoint. Turned out she'd worked in customer service before. You know, I think everyone should be required to have a customer service job so they will respect people who do that work more.

cldcg (something like that, but I typed it wrong because the font was impossible to read)
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Edit: Oh, I forgot to tell you a story of a customer I had the other day. I sneezed twice as I was making his sandwich. Both times I turned all the way around to do it. Because, if you think about it, I don't have a lot of options when I'm making a sandwich and I have to sneeze. A lot of people seem to think I'm just a mechanical sandwich maker and they have to speak slowly and clearly as if I am a voice recognition system that takes orders, and I'm not really human so I don't have to sneeze. Really, all I can do is turn around, perform the sneeze, and say "Excuse me" or "I'm sorry" afterward.

This guy, after the second sneeze, informed me, "You know, turning around doesn't help." I was kind of in shock because he hadn't really said anything until that point and I wasn't sure waht he was talking about. "What?" "Turning around when you sneeze doesn't help. The germs still spread." My jaw kind of dropped open. Did he think I didn't know that germs spread? I wanted to say something like "Well, would you prefer I didn't turn, and sneezed directly on your sandwich? I have two directions to sneeze, and I kindly chose the one that was NOT in your face. You could at least thank me." Instead I meekly said, "I'm sorry. I can't help it." Idiot. Okay, I'm done. uqhjim