Tomorrow, guess what! No, don't; you'll just sound stupid, unless you already know what I'm excited about, in which case I didn't mean for you to guess.

becca and her mom are coming down for my birthday! YAY!

And, my birthday is tomorrow!

I'm so excited it's childish. I think that's what I like most about birthdays - getting excited about them. In fact the best aspect of my birthday is almost over because for the past two weeks I have been SO excited about it I can hardly help myself. Not about the actual day, nor about being eighteen...just, I don't know.

Anyway. Back to work.

I was just going through this box of old stuff - kind of cleaning it out- and all of my old journals are in here. I started flipping through the one from 1998, just before my eleventh birthday and about two months before we moved from Illinois to Washington. I thought I'd share an entry, because it's kind of silly. Actually, it's really boring and is full of bad grammar.


"Monday, July 6, 1998

Dear Aria,

Aria will be your name. Today we are going to the Movies. We are going to see mulan. Kit is at his friends house. (He slept over) and We are going to pick him up. Sarah and colleen are going not so well together. And I am trying to bring them back together. My dad is visiting Washington for a week. I just got back from Vacation yesterday on Sunday. I am not using my best handwriting, Sorry, but I have to hurry. I went to the library and got a Pencil for reading at least 500 pages. I actaully have read 880 pages. My room is a mess. I packed today. We are moving to Washington in August. I have time to write but instead I am going to clean.

End for now. R.F.M.

Five minutes later: I made the bed. I should clean the rest of the room but, I WIsh not too. I just turned on the fan. ITS To loud TO hear MY Self Think!!! sorry about that. Tomorrow my nose little sister will probably read this. So I will hid you!!! And Bring you with to the MOvie Theater."



Ten year olds are so weird

It's interesting though, to see how I thought when I was that age. I don't remember writing any of that, but I remember those days - of packing and once in a while doing something fun with my dad. This was the first time I had seen him in 9 months. I remember going to see Mulan with my family very well.

Ah, I don't know why I just posted this. How stupid. Oh well.

-becca

I'm going to say something, just because I haven't, but I'm kind of tired and out of it, so I doubt it will be very interesting. Maybe not out of it, maybe I'm just relaxed and in a quiet mood. That might be it.

I have had quite the day. Not bad, just...well, actually, it's been good, but full of stuff. I might elaborate more, but I really don't feel like typing very much right now.

It's sort of funny - I'm a fast typer, but I don't enjoy it. I enjoy writing, and being able to type fast probably enables me to like it more, but when it comes to communicating (like with email and the sort) I'd much rather just talk on the phone - or even better, in person.

I'm at the library. I've finished 38 minutes of studying, and I'm taking a short break from learning things.

I just looked to my right and discovered that there is a window there. It looks out at some branches which are bursting with white blossoms, and the sky behind is peach and blue. Ah.

Today is a good day for anything. It would be nice for a walk, a nap, studying indoors, peacefully playing piano, or watching a movie with friends. But just what am I in the mood for tonight? I'm alright with studying for a little while - which is good, because I need to get it done. I've been procrastinating a little too much for my taste lately.

Ah. I want to go watch the sunset and then play piano for a little while. And sing. I don't think I've sung very much lately. I want to sing.

-becca

Can I just talk about my day? Thank you!

Two weeks ago our pastor left, which means the last two weeks we've had a different preacher. Being on the worship team, this means changes for us (as in, what the new preacher wants as far as music goes). For example, the first time this new preacher preached, he came up to us fifteen minutes before the service started and said "I'd like you to do these two hymns also" - and we didn't know the hymns, and we hadn't had time to practice, or anything! And it was just before the service started!

So, last week, Frank (our wonderful worship leader) told me that the same preacher was preaching today, and he was going to pick the songs for Sunday. That was fine with us, as long as we got sufficient notice.

After a few days we still hadn't heard anything about the songs the preacher wanted, so we just put together our own package. Actually, I put together my own package, since Frank was going to be gone today and I would be leading worship. Which means that I was on my own for today - the only instrument.

Worship practice went well. We practiced our songs and stuff.

Then came today. We got to church. I realized as usual that I hadn't worked on an offertory so I was madly flipping through the hymn book and trying to find something appropriate, when Nancy said, "Are we going to practice All Haile the Power?" I was like "what...? No..." and she said "well, it says in the bulletin that's the first song we're doing. And Great is Thy Faithfulness, and Be Thou My Vision." And I grabbed a bulletin. Sure enough, there were completely different songs in there.

I was mad.

I marched up to the pastor and said, "Nobody told us we were supposed to play these songs, and the service starts in twenty minutes. We don't have time to pratice them. I don't have time to work out chords." He was super nice about it - apparently it was somebody else's fault. We had to rearrange songs because of the different order of service and stuff. We prayed hurriedly. I used the time where I usually play a preservice to practice my offertory, and pretend that I was really playing a preservice. Ha.

Then we get to that part of the service titled "Meditative Hymn". I have never heard of such a thing. I went up to play and I thought the worship team would come up with me, but then the pastor said, "Amber is going to lead us in Blessed Assurance now. Please sing along quietly and reflect on the words." Well, you don't have to tell Presbyterians to sing quietly. They sing quietly if you tell them to sing loudly, and if you tell them to sing quietly they don't sing at all. When I started singing a few voices followed me at first, but they died out soon, and I SOLOED. I hadn't even practiced! AT ALL! On piano OR voice!

But God gave me grace. See, earlier when we were frantically practicing those songs of ours that we didn't know well enough to wing, I had been trying to sing the melody of a certain song that the team didn't know well enough, and I couldn't get enough breath support to sing one line all the way through. I couldn't sing - my voice was gone, and I could hardly catch my breath. But when I suddenly realized in the middle of the song that I was soloing, I also realized that God had let me have my voice back for that song, right when it really mattered! And I noticed even more when we did the closing hymn, worship team and everyone - and I again couldn't sing.

Little things.

I watched Day After Tomorrow at Frank and Penni's for the second time. I love that movie.

I have more to type but for some reason the letters I type are lagging about a second behind when I hit the keys and it's REALLY bothering me.

I've been updating my website pictures recently, just a little bit. http://www.ladybugsnameisnotpaige.com/pictures.html. I hope I'll continue to slowly, slowly organize all my pictures and put them up.

"Lord the People Praise You," the a capella repeat song, is quick becoming one of my favorite "sing it all the time" songs. Last night I taught it to my roommate. I never realized how difficult it is for someone who is fantastic at reading music to be able to hear a line of music and copy it singing. I would sing a line for her to repeat, and she would start, and then say "wait, sing it again" and because she is so used to reading music she could hardly sing it until I drew imaginary notes in the air! But she got it eventually. It was so fun.

I looked it up online and found three new verses! Here they are:

We will praise you right here and now
Lest the hills and rocks cry out
You are the holy one
You're the one, you're the only one

If we had ten thousand hands
We would praise you as you command...

If we had ten thousand tongues
We would praise you with every one...

They're great. I'm happy.

http://www.ladybugsnameisnotpaige.com/pictures/rain/index.html

Go to that link. We had a thunderstorm today and when we went outside to see the lightning we got really wet and we decided to just stay out in the rain for as long as it lasted and we got really wet and it was REALLY fun.

GUESS WHAT!

My birthday is one week from today! I'll be eighteen! And! becca! Is! Coming! Down! I! Am! So! Happy! she's coming down to SEE ME! And guess what! We're go ing to go see Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy because GUESS WHAT! It comes out on my birthday! And we're going to do other fun things too, like hang out and have fun!

I'm going to have a birthday!

I figure I can get excited about birthdays up until I'm eighteen. After that I'm not a kid anymore, technically. So, without further ado...

I'm turning eighteen in SEVEN DAYS! I'm going to have a birthday and feel all special! I'm so excited! I can't wait! YAY! 18181818181818181818181818181818181818! haha, that would be really old, if a person was 18181818181818181818181818181818181818 years old.

And just now, Jess made us tomato soup and I washed the dishes, and we sang really loud in the kitchen. I mean, really loud. We sang the rap version of "Jesus Loves Me" about twenty times. Then I taught her "Lord the People Praise You" cause that's the coolest repeat song ever. Then she washed some dishes, then I washed some more dishes, then we ate soup and finished up the ice cream and had saltines. Ah. It was great.

Let's see, what else is new...

The semester is almost over! I mean, really! There are only two weeks left of classes, then one week of finals, and that's it! And I don't have that many finals...let me see...I have one in Brit Lit...and I kind of have one for Spanish but I think we're just going to have that during normal class hours. Actually we might not. So that's two, ish. I have a persuasive speech to do during finals week, but it's not really a final, it's just a speech. But it is called a final. so that's three ish ish. No philosophy final (I almost typed "philosophy phinal"), just a paper due during that week. No Bible Study methods final. Woohoo! I only have one "real" final, and that's an essay test.

I'm sure that was all very interesting. I was really just organizing it in my head.

Goodnight.

Doesn't bright blue and green just make you want to smile? I just looked out the window and couldn't help myself!

I love waking up to bright skies and sunlit plants, their branches swaying in the wind and shadows shifting back and forth across my face. Ah. Today was a perfect day for a nap, and I enjoyed every minute of it - okay, so I was sleeping, but I love to sleep, so I feel okay saying that with confidence.

I wasn't going to take a nap. I was going to finish compiling my research into a spreadsheet. But, I made the mistake of sitting on my bed while I did it, and soon drifted off.

I went to 4 stores today and recorded information about mushrooms. I won't go into the details, because quite frankly, though I always enjoy a good hunt, it's not even all that interesting to me. I don't really care much about the commercial distribution of fungi. Some of the things I found out about different species was intriguing - but how much per pound? Ah, oh well. At least I know where to find the most variety of mushrooms now.

Of course, I wore shorts today. Yes, I decided that while it was still only 70 degrees out. I can do that, I live in Seattle. At the first sight of sun, everyone is going around in brightly colored flooded pants, straw hats, and flipflops. You just can't get away from it. Well, maybe you can, the straw hat part, anyway. It got up to 80 degrees by the end of the day though. It seems like summer comes earlier every year. Hum.

Kaitie and I went for an hour long bike ride. It was great. I like biking. I like being outside. I've been trying to spend more and more time outside. I love just going to a park or the beach or something, and doing nothing all day. I mean, well, doing something, like enjoying time with friends, or playing music, maybe building a sandcastle. A picnic is always nice, and I usually can't help myself from running around like six year old every now and then - just simple stuff! That's cheap, quality time right there.

Tomorrow should be a pleasant day. I'm doing some fun stuff! We're visiting some friends, going to my sister-in-law's baby shower, and then I'm going on an exciting architectural adventure (how fun does that sound? Post a rating, I was trying to make it sound really, really fun, like it's something I decided to do for the sake of doing it) for my art class. Tyrone is going to go with me, so it should be fun. Kaitie wants to come too, so I guess I'll let her. ha, she makes a good tagalong anyway.

I really should finish up this school stuff. I still have several chapters to read and a test to take. Online classes are so great. I don't think I'd take another one though. I mean, it's great because it's a course on mushrooms, not because it's an online course. If it was for something like...english or physics, I don't think I'd enjoy it very much.


What a glorious day it's been - and it's not over yet! ha!

-becca

hello!

Today is my day off! The sun is shining, my legs are aching, and I'm happy!

Unfortunately, I don't have anything very exciting to offer, but I'll leave you with some mycological information:

Cup Fungus - There are many varieties of Cup fungi; different colors, habitats, and size. T he picture to the left (which is not posted) is known as Scarcoscypha coccinea. Cup fungi disperse their spores via the wind. Its spores, however, are born inside the mother-cell, rather than outside. When water pressure builds up inside the sac, it eventually is relieved and the spores are shot up into the air. This is how they get out of the cup and into the surrounding enviroment.


Ah, the things I learn. Fungi are so weird.

I don't feel as if I have much to say. I went to Canada for the Great West Invitationals in bible quizzing. It was fun, I enjoyed getting to know as many people as I did.

I feel like taking a nap, and I think I might just. Last night, I was going to go to bed at about 10:30, but I ended up cleaning my room, doing laundry, and studying a few chapters of matthew, so I didn't actually hit my head against my pillow until 1am. Then I woke up early this morning and went running and got some more stuff done.
So, I think I can justify taking a nap. Plus, I'm always sleepy when it's cold, and it's so cold today!
At least, in the house. I'm wearing a sweater and I'm freezing. Kaitie wants to go for a bike ride with me. Maybe we'll go later, that should warm me up anyway. This has to be the most boring post ever. oh

well! I'm HAPPY!
-becca

amber posted that, because according to her, she's the blog master.*


adybug says:
POST IT ON THE BLOG.
ladybug says:
NOW.
becca says:
but...
becca says:
really?
becca says:
wow
ladybug says:
yes!
becca says:
but it's such a stupid topic!
becca says:
liek bananas!
becca says:
come oN!
becca says:
I'm not going to.

ladybug says:
I posted it
becca says:
fine.
ladybug says:
under your name
becca says:
HA!
becca says:
did you use my font?
ladybug says:
darn!
becca says:
hahahaa
becca says:
I win.
ladybug says:
I'm going back.
becca says:
not that you can't go edit it
ladybug says:
I am.
ladybug says:
Not that you can't either
becca says:
true.
*ladybug says:
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
ladybug says:
I AM BLOG MASTAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
becca says:
whateva!
ladybug says:
OH YA!
ladybug says:
YAVAH!
ladybug says:
At your funeral, I'll say nice things about you.
becca says:
I read a funny epitaph in my fungus book today
becca says:
for some american taxologist

-becca (and amber, sort of)

I plug the cord in and flip the power switch. Stepping back, I listen to the familiar droning hum of the dehydrator; it’s working. It looks rather ominous, dominating the counter with its large size and disk-like shape. It reminds me of an alien spacecraft, coming to invade the culinary world; drying the fruits of my small kitchen, one by one. It was once white, but now tainted from use, has taken up an antique-yellow quality. I like it; it feels like I’ve had it forever and gives me a sense of reminiscence – like an old childhood memory – though I associate no particular fond moment with it.

Upon this pleasant reflection, I pick up the pile of brown, mushy banana peel remains and toss them into the waste basket, disgusted by the smell and feeling it leaves on my hands and in my gut, but happy to be done with this step of the process. I wash my hands and return to wipe off the counter. It’s been a while since I’ve dehydrated bananas, four months at least. I look at the clock and make a mental note in my mind of what time it will be in about fifteen hours. Even though I know that it always ends up taking closer to twenty hours, I’m stuck in the rut of habit and have no convicting reason to change.

As I’m walking from room to room, doing various chores, I keep being drawn to the scent and sound coming from the dehydrator. I look at the time. It’s only been a few hours, and peeking won’t make the day pass any quicker.

Completely ignoring any self-restraint, I open the lid and take in the scene. The four trays, neatly stacked to make a short cylinder, are each filled with as many of the small, round, banana slices as can fit on them. I take a deep breath and start coughing; I had forgotten that they still smell like bananas – it really hasn’t been long enough.

I don’t like bananas. I wish I did, I know they’re a wonderful source of potassium. But, they’re mushy. I just can’t seem to get the texture down – literally, I have to choke it down. Does the smell bother me? Am I only repelled by the scent because I connect it with the other things I don’t like about the fruit?
Why then, do I like banana chips? I’m not sure. Whatever it is that I don’t like about bananas seems to vanish in the drying process. With that brief analysis, I close the lid (and the subject) and turn to see what my next task will be.

The vase of flowers on the table would fare much better by the window. Dancing across the tiled floor, I carry the flowers to the other side of the room, planning to set them by the window. Unfortunately, I haven’t cleaned that part of the counter; no big deal, it will only take a moment, and I’m always up for a challenge. I put the flowers down to free my hands so I can wash the original destination spot off. Somehow, I lose my balance – the vase slips.

My hand flies to cover my mouth as I breathe in sharply. A chain of reactions follows: the vase shatters, the water splashes, a series of cook books topple over, and in the end, the excitement comes to nothing but a big mess and a bit of agitation. It felt excruciatingly slow, one thing falling after another. After watching helplessly, I wake up from the daze and scramble to clean everything up.

The chaos settles, and my senses allow other things to distract. I notice that the constant sound of the dehydrator has ceased to a low, sputtering buzz. I lift the lid to see if it’s still working. I can feel the heat faintly as it escapes into the room. I stretch out my hand and wave it back and forth above the dehydrator as if I’m trying to awaken it from a trance; nothing. I put the lid back on and try toggling the power switch up and down to see if that restarts it. By now, the odd noises have stopped altogether, and it seems that the fate of my banana slices is settled: they are eternally bound to this half-dried state, never to know the feeling of complete preservation.

I sigh and ponder what I should do. I could always put the bananas on a baking pan and dry them out in the oven, but that isn’t quite the same. I suppose there’s the old fashioned method of putting them outside and leaving them to bask in the sun for a little while too – but that requires a sunny day. Not wanting to think about it, I leave and do other things. And so the day passes by and I mostly forget about the entire ordeal.

Later that evening, a family member comes home and upon entrance, exclaims, “Yum, it smells like someone was making banana chips!” I relate the events from earlier in the day to him, looking for some sort of understanding in reply; sympathy. But, all I get is, “Let me take a look at it.” In a poor attempt to display that I had already tried everything to make it work, I roll my eyes impatiently. Nevertheless, I follow him into the kitchen, and once there, station myself with my arms crossed, my head cocked to the side, and my right eyebrow raised. Unconvinced, I tap my foot and watch to see what “new” conclusion will be drawn from the situation.

Soon more people come home and follow their noses straight into the kitchen. “What’s going on?” They ask. “Oh, nothing that hasn’t already happened,” I reply in an indignant tone. With confused expressions, they turn their eyes to the dehydrator and watch as its being interrogated. Smiling, the uninvited inspector turns around and dangles the power cord triumphantly in front of my face. He plugs it into the outlet, and the normal humming sound returns; the heat is working once more.

I’m not sure if I should be happy or mad. I was quite resigned to ceremoniously scraping the bananas into the garbage and disposing of the dehydrator for good; I did get it at a garage sale for only five dollars. I had secretly been hoping that nothing would be found that could fix it – why would I want to be proved wrong?
But then again, how can I be upset when banana chips are mere hours away?

-A paper written for my English class, by becca.

It's a quiet evening. Perfectly peaceful.

But, this content feeling doesn't just come from the stillness of an empty house.
I'm too joyful to say quite what I want.

This should suffice: God is good.

aah.

Friends are great. The ones that I'm thinking about are the ones that I can do anything with and absolutely nothing with; whether there are words to say, expressions to exchange, or silence to sink into. (I'm sure most of the people I'm referring to here either share this blog coughambercoughsortofkaitiecowgh with me or read it).

It's interesting, the different level of friendships I have. Some are just acquaintances - if we see eachother, we say hello, and inquire about the others health, perhaps exchange news about school or work, but we don't "hang out" or ever plan on seeing the other.

Then there are those who I know fairly well, I just don't talk to them very often. But, when we do converse, we can go on for hours. I think I've accumulated a lot of those types of relationships from moving so much. We move, I make a good friend, we move again, and I don't keep in touch as much as I would like. God always brings so many new faces along though. But it's nice to know that the old ones are still there to be familliar with.

I'm always amazed by the fact that I've kept in touch with my friend from Chicago for the past 7 years. We talk less now than we used to, but still, once a month isn't bad.

Hm. Here's just a quick observation/opinion I'm not really going to get into: there is something so different from just talking to people and actually being with them. I love to spend time with people, even when there's nothing to do - or things I "should" do instead. I supooOoose at those times I could be reading an educational book, or doing something "constructive," but having true relationships with others is far more important. Time allows for both, no reason to go crazy. That's all.

There also people I just sort of admire from a distance. I want to know them more just so I can learn to be like them. I talk to them, sure, but they have such strong character, or some quality that I can only hope to grow up to have. Generally, these fall under the category of "cool adults," or sometimes, "guys-that-I-wish-I-was-good-enough-to-marry-someday." I'll leave that subject closed though, thank you.

Even though I'm mainly reflecting on specific people in my life, right now, I feel like I love just about everyone. It doesn't matter who you are, if you were here, I'd give you a hug and offer you some tea. And some chocolate! Well, if I had some, anyway.

-becca

I didn't go to class at all today. I woke up and thought I'd be able to, but every time I tried walking I got all weird. So I called the nurse and got excused from my morning classes. I thought I'd be able to attend my afternoon class but I was still feeling pretty cruddy so I got excused for that one.

The problem with having all day off because you're sick is that you can't really enjoy it - because you're sick. I slept, took medicine, blew my nose, and stared dreamily at the wall all day. I got some homework done but it took a lot of mental effort.

BUT! Last night, I went to see a movie at someone's house (yes, I know you shouldn't have fun when you're sick, but I was feeling well enough at the time, and I warned them in advance) and they gave me medicine and Kleenex and some cough drops and popcorn AND a big thing of chicken noodle soup!!! It made me so happy. I just now ate half of the soup and I feel better. Iyesha went out and bought the soup just for me. Isn't that nice?! I can't get over it. Wow. I have the greatest friends.

I went to the cafeteria for lunch today. It was a huge effort - walking all the way there, getting food, sitting and eating, putting dishes away, and walking all the way back to the dorm. I don't get it! Usually I don't become such a wimp when I'm sick. I'm all weak. Like a limp noodle. I just ate a lot of those in soup.

Whine whine whine whine.

I register for my classes in two days. Unless I change my mind, here's what I want to take:

Bib201 OT Lit Hst Poetry
Eng304 Adv Writing
Mth113 Pre-Calculus
Psy100 General Psych
Mus150 Choir
SM 200 Student Ministry III

15 credits. Whoop.

Actually, I'm kind of excited. Registering for next semester's classes reminds me that I'm almost done with my FIRST YEAR here! Unbelievable! Inconceivable! Absolutely amazing! WOW!

I have drunk a lot of tea in the last two days. "A lot a lot," as Ford Prefect would say.

Three books I plan to read over the summer: Decision-Making and the Will of God, all the books in the Hitchiker series (I consider them one because I have most of them in one fat book), and a third undecided. Requirements: It has to be a good book, and it has to have a lot of pages but not too many. Around 500ish, I'd say. Since I have one Christian book and one novel on the list, I'd like to read a classic for the third. A classic that doesn't begin with "M" and end with "oby Dick." Ugh. That was sooooo boring.

I'm saving the second Mitford book and the second book in The Pendragon Cycle for Christmas break. I think I'll make that a tradition - continue with the next book in the serieses (what is the plural of series?) until I either run out of books or Christmas breaks.

I have recently started a list of 100 things I want to accomplish in my lifetime. I won't do all of them, probably, and maybe some goals are more noble than others (for example, "Memorize 100 chapters of the Bible" might sound more noble than "Memorize pi to 50 digits") but I don't really care. I made the list because I wanted to, and it was fun to write. I'm at like 54 or something now. Some friends and I were reading our lists to each other, and when I read number 40 on mine ("Grow a lot of basil and make pesto with it") my friend Laine burst out laughing and said that was the best idea ever. Made me feel special - ha! I thought of growing basil! What a wonderful, novel idea!

Anyway, it's something fun to do - make a list like that. You should do it because it's fun. It also tends to teach you a lot about yourself. Like, I can lump my goals together into certain categories that show me what I think is important in life - "having things memorized," "having knowledge" (they ARE different), "fun things," and "godly things." A lot of stuff overlaps within these categories (Memorizing the Bible would go under memorizing, fun things, and godly things, for example).

Okay. Goodbye!

I'm glad you're alive, amber.

I am terribly proud of myself today. But, really only in one count. I woke up! My alarm went off at 6:00am, and I got out of bed merely 20 minutes later!
I got to school early, drank a very unskillfully made latte, and read up on my American Architecture homework.

I also played around with my computer a little bit. But, only a little bit. I bought a laptop. hoorah. aaah, it'll be so nice at the end of may, when I'm completely done paying for my car. And this laptop. Hum. I was about to give thanks to the person who set it up for me, but I can't remember who really did it. I think Josh started it, and then Tyrone finished it. tyrone. That looks better. So thanks [you two]!

Onto the other not-so-terribly-interesting-things-but-still-things:

I chose sort of a dumb writing topic for my class. Banana dehydration. WHY? I really don't know. We had to describe a scene as vividly as we could, and I wanted to take on the challenge of describing something really boring. I was surprised to get mostly positive feedback. I stopped it a sort of climatic point, because I hadn't worked on much beyond that, and they were all staring at me, asking, "what!? What happens next?!" It was funny. I thought it was nice too, that the negative feedback I got were things I was noticing myself, as I read it outloud.

It makes an interesting mix, because everyone in my workshopping group has a completely different writing style and sense of humor. One girl is extremely sarcastic and cynical; the other much more serious and sincere. The guy just voices a lot opinions; trying to prove his point of personal preference. All their papers were fun to listen to though, and I got out early, which is always a plus on mondays.

Since it was an hour before I had to be at work, I decided to take a trip to the library for a little while, and edit my paper.

And that's all I have to say!

-becca

p.s. earlier I had a weird double take, I thought there was a cat in my car. As it turns out, it was just my sweatshirt perched in a cat-like position.

Well, I'm back from the dead. I can still feel the Nyquilic alcohol in my veins, but I'm drinking lots of water. My loving roommate is picking up a sick tray for me at the cafteteria right now.

I was going to be singing half of a duet for offertory today, but I couldn't because my voice was so far gone. It's not "gone" - I can talk almost normally - but I can't sing at all.

When am I going to do my homework for tomorrow...?

Today was my pastor's last day preaching in our church. We had a goodbye party/baby shower for his family (his wife is due next month) and sent them off with lots of joyful old country hymns. I usually refrain from commenting on the quality of our music, but today we all played and sang especially well. These are the bouncin', rockin', happy old-time clappin' songs we did today:

Power In the Blood
The Hallelujah Side
I'll Fly Away
When the Roll is Called Up Yonder

And last week we did "Do Lord."

We were going to do "This World is Not My Home" but it wasn't going well during practice so we tossed it.

We sounded excellent today anyway. Wow. Frank (leads worship, plays guitar) was born to play and sing this kind of music. This is definitely his strong point.

I hope Jess gets back soon...I'm hungry.

And tired. And my head and throat hurt...I feel all dirty.

You know how it is when you're sick. You get hot and cold and hot and cold when you're trying to sleep, and you sweat a lot, and since you're in bed all day you just feel disgusting from laying in bed.

Let me think of something useful and helpful to say.

She's back!

I'm siiiiick. Miserable. My mom just left. I miss her already. I want some chicken noodle soup but I don't have any...I want some lemon tea but I have no lemon...nasal decongestant but I'm out...

I do have Nyquil which I will be taking soon after I drink my not-lemon tea.

I really just did this post out of self-pity and misery. Waaaah!

I've been smiling for two days straight; I think I'm back to normal.

WELL, maybe that's not normal, but I'm happy!

I really should not write too much about my glorious past few days - I have so many other writing assignments to do - but, there's need for a fresh post.

I called amber on wednesday night, and we had the most perfect conversation. I wouldn't be able to tell you anything about what we talked about - we cover a lot in 2 hours. But, there's a certain quality in our 'classic' amber/becca conversations that isn't generated from anything else; it was exactly what I needed. I love you amber! amber is coolen ban u!

I did it. I tasted sushi. I think I'll share my impressions on that at a later time.

Kaitie and I are having a day tomorrow! We're going to go play tennis, and I'm taking her shopping for something specific. I guess she doesn't want to go to IKEA anymore.

I'm also going to experiment with a green-tea chocolate cake for her b'day cake. It might be really good, but you'll never know unless you happen to receive an invite.

I'm really sleepy. I'm planning on going to bed a reasonably early hour tonight. I've been going to bed much too late for my own good. This either results in a) waking up early and being sleepy all day, or b) sleeping in and getting a bad start on the day. Neither one work for me. I like to go to bed early enough that I can wake up early and still feel rested. Sometimes it's okay to just take a nap in the afternoon. I really like afternoon naps, but I can't always justify them.

OKAY.

I promised that I would work on mycology assignments for the next 20 minutes before I fall asleep.


hahaha. I'm tired, but really. I'm happy.

-becca

The last two days, a lot of stuff has happened. A boy asked me out. I didn't really know him. I went "out" with him. I wasn't terribly convinced that he would ever be "the one" for me, and that I could ever be in a deep relationship with him. I learned that he was eight years older than me. Red flag. I also learned that he liked me, though he had only met me two days before that. Another red flag.

And he didn't laugh at any of my jokes. Big red flag waving in the wind.

Add these factors to a lot of negative gut feelings. That was me yesterday.

Today I talked to his former girlfriend.

Ten minutes ago I emailed him the "we need to talk" line and asked him to meet me tomorrow.

I'm so glad I'm getting this over with before it's started. He's a great guy, but he is not the one for me. And there are some areas which, in my opinion, he is not great. Considering that these areas were evident on our first real conversation, how many more might surface after many?

I have the best support group of friends. They listen, support, encourage, advise, and tell me repeatedly that I am doing the right thing. I'll talk to him tomorrow.

What have I learned from this experience?

Very practically, I will never seek a "deeper" relationship with a guy that I don't even have a relationship with in the first place. I need to be friends with a guy before I "date" him - in fact, I need to actually know a guy before I date him! Gosh! Shouldn't that be really obvious?

I'm just glad that this had nothing to do with me. I wasn't flirting when I met him. I said all of three words to him - "Hi I'm Amber" and then forgot about him. When he emailed me I had to look him up in order to know who he was. Really, the most obvious and basic question you should ask before dating a guy is "have I known him for longer than a week?"

Ah. Haha, I almost had "guy problems". It's great now though. I feel so much better knowing what I'm going to do. It'll be hard to do it. Awkward. But good.

There are obviously a lot more details to this, but I don't think they need to be displayed publicly to the world. Woohoo!!

The first week of the quarter is always like this for me: I guess the only word I can use is stressful.

I can't say that I really am stressed out; I don't get stressed out. Yeah, things happen that I don't always look forward to or anticipate in the first place, but I deal with it, and life goes on. Usually I have the capability of just accepting things. Sometimes not. I don't think I'm "stressed," I just have this feeling of exhaustion. I think it's just change. I was off any sort of routine schedule for the better part of two weeks, and now, everything has taken off at once. My work schedule is completely different - working nights, then mornings, then nights again. My school schedule is longer and consists of much different class subjects than I'm used to.

So, anyway, I've been a bit out of myself for the past couple of days. Very concentrated on the things I'm doing and not very willing to be distracted from it. Which, I suppose is good on the one hand, because I won't get anything done if I'm not determined, but on the other hand, I don't like it when I act like that. I suppose it's one of the places I haven't quite matured in yet, although, I don't think many people have conquered the right perspective in that area. The area of being busy, that is.

Quite personally, I don't like being busy. I know I'm industrious and I try doing too much far too often, but I thoroughly enjoy "down" time. I absolutely love to be around people - although, I wonder how much that depends on how much they "love" to be around me.
But, it's always a wonder to me that people will talk and talk about how busy they are. Actually, I just decided that I'm not going to venture into that topic. I'm far too prone to be hypocritical and make remarks I'm sure have been made about me - either by myself or others.

What is it about opinions?

I am in the most odd mood for myself. Like I have a sinus infection that's throwing my entire disposition and thought process off track. But, I don't have a sinus infection, or really any other excuse for acting this way. Although, my leg has been hurting for the past few days and I have a gouge out of my finger from a burn.
What is it that's so weird about this week? My head has constantly had this ping of irritance and my mouth feels tense. Maybe I do need a day off. Just to become myself. It's just because it's the first week of the quarter. I don't know why I get like this. It's weird.

My fun writing class is in 15 minutes, and then I'm off to work for a few hours.

I love my instructors so far, have I mentioned that? I'm excited about my architect class, because I've been learning so much. I like long classes like this that are only a couple of times a week. I get lots of information at once, up to the brink of my learning capacity for one sitting, and then I have four days to go over the information and search out what else I want to learn. This suits me much better than the opposition of small bits of information every day, leaving me without very much to learn more on.

This is my last quarter too! How strange, to be graduating. I've felt like I've been out of highschool for two years, but now to actually think about what I'm supposed to do with my life in a serious way. It seems a lot of expectancy is growing about me going off to college or doing something ambitious with my life. Why? What I don't? I really had no mind to go to college right away at all. I thought that I've been hurrying through everything so fast, a year off would be wonderful. But then, that looks incredibly lazy to other people. I guess I shouldn't really be worrying about that though. But, when the people who are saying these things are people you really look up to, it makes it quite difficult to brush their opinions aside. Especially when I know many of my own have been formulated after theirs, perhaps mainly out of inexperience though - in some things, I may not have had the chance to make an opinion for myself.

What am I talking about? I'm in such a weird mood I can't even contain it! I need to go do something very becca to get out of this, but what?

My point, I think, was that I just don't know what God wants for me, and it seems good enough to me to wait on him for that. I don' tmean just sit around and do nothing, waiting for a voice from heaven to instruct me, but, wait for an open door to walk through.

Maybe school, maybe work, maybe here, maybe there, maybe I'll get married (ha!). Who knows. But just so you all know, I'm not looking to rush into anything, I want to enjoy the people God has placed in my life, the ministries I get to be involved in, the things I get to do...

hum.

I guess I'm just tired of being asked about "next year." Forgive my boring, rather ill-natured rant, I'm off to class!

-becca

Yay! May Valley got first! I'm so proud of them!

It's 8:13 Sunday morning. Bleah, I just woke up. But I had a weird dream I'm trying to remember, so I'm just going to type out parts of it.

It was an Incredibles dream. Nearly everyone had special powers. There was a park with all these kids and their fathers, and one kid threw a ball really far really fast, and another kid would catch it. Then one time the ball hit a kid on the head REALLY hard, except the kid broke his arm. I have no idea how it happened.

Then I was with my roommate and some other people going to Cameroon. It looked nothing like Cameroon, it was just called that. My family wanted to go "skydiving." I put that in quotes because their idea of skydiving was running and jumping off a cliff so they were flying, and white trails of smoke would follow them, and they would go to the nearest lake and skim on the water, or smack in the water, then come back up and then go down and dip, etc. I had a little brother and my mom kept saying "watch out for rocks! They're really bigger than the little peaks sticking out of the water." My mom kept telling me somehow that I wasn't being adventuresome enough, that I wouldn't skydive with my family. Then my family was with me and my Multnomah friends, and Jess was explaining that the night before it had rained so hard she had slept in her tent in a raincoat. Then she was talking about a little place that sold snacks and stuff not far from there and I was really mad that I hadn' t known about it during the time I actually lived in Cameroon, because there were times I wanted junk food there and had to wait to go to America to get it.

There was also a picture I took of the four trails of smoke, and a little girl who...was annoying. I can't remember much, obviously. It was a great dream. And now I have to get ready for church. Hah, I love the fact that it starts so late. W orship practice doesn't start till like 9:45!

goodmorning!

I'm in moses lake for the weekend.

Currently, it's 5:50am, and I've been awake for an hour. The person (ahem) I'm staying with - though I may betray them - snores a little, and I'm been having some trouble staying asleep.

So, after lying there with a pillow or two stuffed around my head, I sat up and walked toward the window. After looking out at our scenic view of the open-24 hours-supercenter-WAL*MART, I decided I needed to find something to do, so here I am, writing of my insomniacic troubles. ha.

Someone was just knocking a door fairly loudly. Those crazies.

Well! I've been having an absolutely delightful time in this...populated, eastern washington city.
I'm here for the quiz meet, of course, why else would I be in moses lake? I didn't come here to buy umbrella strollers, that's for sure.
We arrived fairly early - about 3PM (the quiz meet doesn't start until 7ish). So, we drove through moses lake, and five minutes later, we decided to go to the hotel that my mom and I are staying at. We checked in and planned on passing the time for a couple of hours playing cards or watching tv or something.

It was great though - we walked in and simultaneously all break into laughter; there's a hot tub in the bedroom! We were completely unaware of it when we reserved the room.
When they said, "oh, we only have this one smaller suite available," you'd think they'd chime in, "but it has a hot tub, so that's why it's a little more pricey." But, the reaction we had was so great, I really didn't mind at all.

Naturally, we went to WAL*MART and my mom and I bought some swim suits - or if you rather, clearance rack tanks and shorts, which neither one of us will be likely to ever wear again. Except the shorts I found. They seem like they'd be nice for running, which I've recently taken up again.

It was really nice and relaxing, and my mom and I got to talk for a little while, which is always pleasant. I love my mom. Really really really reeeeaaallly! REALLY, love her.

And, not just because she happened to get a hot tub in her room when I happened to be staying with her - although, that does makes her pretty loveable.


Oh, so quizzing. Our team is doing great. Every one is excited and having fun! AND, everyone on the team has been getting questions, which is really great to see. I'm having a lot of fun just being there. It's funny, everytime I go to a quiz meet, I hardly expect to really hang out with anyone outside of my team and I always seem to be surprised when I end up knowing people there who I actually have conversations with and stuff.

There's this one very sweet girl who I met at the last meet. I think she was drawn over becasue I was playing guitar at the time, and she expressed an interesting in learning, so I taught her a few chords.

As I was sitting in the Sanctuary, and Kurt was explaining something about his socks to me, she came up to me. I couldn't remember her name, but I knew it was a name I liked a lot. Gloria. Yes. It's even nicer now that I write it down. I think part of it is because there was a book series I LOVED when I was little - the children books about the badger, Francis. By far, the best one was "Jam and Bread for Francis," because she sings all these songs she makes up, and there's the whole thing with her friend about the way he eats his variety of food for lunch. Aaaah. I should read that again. I think I will! But, I haven't seen in it in quite a while.
Anyway, Francis has a little sister named Gloria, and ever since then, I've liked the name.
Although, I have a feeling even if it wasn't for the deep impression Francis has made on my life, I would still like the name.

Gloria - the sweet girl, not the badger - said hello, and was telling me about the songs she wrote and different things about quizzing and stuff - and she's just so cute!

It's a curious thing to me to ever think that someone looks up to me. I mean, I think at some point in our lives, most of us are looked up to by someone for something about us. But, Generally I feel like I'm just goofing off all of the time, and that I don't really deserve that attention, and that there are plenty of other better role models to chose from.


School starts on monday! I'm somewhat excited, I guess, just to get back in the groove of routine again. These past two weeks have been great, but I'm ready to return to some more structure in my day. I've definitely gotten a lot of laundry done. On two seperate days, I think I've come to a total of over 16 loads of laundry. That is SO much. Don't worry though; it's not just my clothes.

Did I mention that I learned all the quizzing material? I would like to say that I learned all of matthew, but we skipped chapters 13 and 23-25 for some reason. I still plan on going back and memorizing them next year though. Oh, and the genealogy too. It's great though, to push yourself reeeeeaaaallly hard and actually have it come to something in the end. Ah.

I don't have much else to talk about. I'm sure I could pick some random subject and start rambling about it, but I don't see much point in that. Maybe I'll try and go back to sleep. My alarm goes off in 45 minutes.

-becca