yay, I'm blogging.

I got back a little bit ago. I went shopping with my mom and sister. I didn't really want to go. I didn't really want to drive the big honking van. But I did. It was good quality time, going to cash n carry and fred meyer. Ooh boy.

Something you may not know about me, if you don't hang out around me when I'm in my tired-silly moods, I make up a lot of songs. I like to sing made up songs and get people to think they're real songs. Like just sing a line or two of something sort of catchy in that cliche way and people think it's real. Kaitie doesn't always. She can usually tell when I'm making something up, but sometimes, she totally can't. It's like, okay, so I can't make up a whole song and make it any good, but at least I pretend I know a lot of songs. Or I just sing about everything that happens. Or I really do sing a real line from a real song because someone says something that reminds me of it. Or try and end up singing something half made up and half from memory. But mostly I just sing random stuff. There, now you've learned one way I act when I'm feelin' silly.

While we were at Fred Meyer, I pulled into a space so that our van was face to face with a Hummer. It's lights were on and there was a suspicious looking man sitting behind the steering wheel. There was also a gold mini-disco ball dangling from the rear-view mirror. You could've had a party in that car, it was huge. We made some stupid comment and brought up an inside joke about dance floor wax, laughed and went inside.. We came out of the store probably twenty minutes later. The man was still in the car. Now we started making fun of this because we make fun of everything even if it's not funny, and talking about soccer moms and road rage. Anyway, I put the van in reverse and started backing up. It was kind of hard to see, because the windows were all foggy and it's a big van. A lot of cars were going by so I was being kind of cautious too. The hummer started blinking it's lights and the car behind me, who was apparently very anxious to pull into my space, started honking at me. So, anyway, I just kept backing out and then the hummer pulled forward into my space and the guy honking at me didn't get it. Ha, spite him. I wonder how long the hummer man had wanted that space though. It was like he was just...waiting for us to get back into our car.

weird.

hah why am I blogging about this? I am in a silly mood. I should write something more serious.

How about church.

Today we had a missionary speak at our church. I love missions day. I always have...there's just something about it. Of course, when I was younger, I think most of the appeal was that it would be less boring than a regular service, but even so, I've always really enjoyed it.
Hearing about other countries, their way of life and different cultures, have always intrigued me, and after listening to a missions story of any kind I'm always convinced that I'm supposed to be a missionary - to another country that is. I think always been convinced of that, that at least for a time, I'd be on the missions field. But I think I've always known it was going to be in the future a bit.

Someone asked me today, "Do you really think you'd be willing to give up your family and be a missionary in another country?"

Yeah sure, if that's what I'm supposed to do, but I don't really think I would need to give up my family. I know I need to love God more than anything else, even the most important people to me. I think I've been blessed with a family that would completely support me in the decision to go and serve in another country, and I'm hoping that God will bless me with a family of my own that would go with me. That's a thought that excites me, or a dream I have. I guess there's a lot of things I dream about though. There are so many different ways I would love to be used to minister. I guess the really important thing is that I'm where God wants me though, and I know if I'm abiding in Him, then I'll love what I'm doing and who I'm doing it with.
A lot excites me about my future. Of course I don't know what's in store, but at the same time, I do - and I look so forward to finding out and doing the things God has planned for me.
It's like giving up what I have now won't even be hard, because I'm so ready to take in return whatever God has for me. And I hope to learn to give it back to Him too. I guess that's why I just need to be happy with what I have now, because I know it's going to change soon enough, and who knows what I can learn now that might not come as easily later.

Isn't it amazing that God has plans for us? I mean, even me? wow. It's a hard thing to fathom, when I think about my personal relationship with God and then realize that all these other people have personal relationships with God too - and at the very same time! And that of course, is what brings us together as a body of believers and helps us to grow closer and stronger in the Lord and together. But it's something I just can't grasp. Can anyone? I never keep up with all my relationships with people, but I know I'm a finite creature and I'm bound by time and imperfections, and people come and go in our lives. How do I get a hold of it, that God is outside of time? How can I picture life without time? I can only do it by comparing it with time, so I can't really understand it. It's like imagining humans having three arms instead of two. Well, maybe not quite like it..but, just impossible to really see what life would be like.

Like having t-shirts with three arm holes, picturing how the muscle would feel to move, and where would this extra limb go anyway? The logistics. It's a foreign idea. But it might make life easier. What's my point in going this far to explain this? I don't know if I really have one. I think I just wanted to talk about having three arms some more. wow that would be ugly.

I just can't be serious right now. haha. And I think my brother is coming over soon, so I should go...find something else to do.

-becca